pretty, witty and cheerful

20 months is not a lot

2012-02-12T00:43:00.000-08:00

having the last 2 kids so close together has been challenging. but now, every once in a while there will be a sweet moment of quiet playtime where no one is bonking someone on the head with a block or stealing a toy.

i took a picture as phoebe and rodney shared dress up dolls together. and is it just me, or does it look like he is going to tower over her in school? 20 months younger my foot, that kid is a giant.

i miss eating

2012-02-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

don't get me wrong, it's not like i'm starving or anything. i have plenty of food options for the day and i eat. but i miss just eating. i feel like i'm going through withdrawals. i want to eat what i want, when i want. i don't want to have to write it down, and be accountable for it. i don't want to meet with people and tell them if i've lost or gained and it hasn't even be a week. the funny part is, i didn't used to have freedom with food, i was a slave to it. i was its subject and it my master. it would say "come here! i'm your friend! let's spend the night together!" and i would! oh, i fell for all of food's foxy little tricks. and i paid and paid and paid for it. and i'm fed up! i'm quitting our co-dependent relationship for good this time.

my brain is telling me when i slip up (because i have a few times already) that "it's all ruined, might as well give up and give in." and "you never are going to do this permanently."

there is no inbetween is what my brain tells me. because i'm either going to be a perfectly healthy eater or a regular at the Golden Corral. it's all or nothing. (this is where my mind always travles during healhty endeavors)

but there is a healthy medium and it's called moderation, and i'm going to find it if it kills me.

it is NOT all or nothing gosh darn it. it's not.

almost 8 months

2012-02-09T07:34:00.000-08:00

he can sit all by himself for forever.
he can play by himself.
he can feed himself cheerios, and bananas, and soggy broccoli and apples.
he can drink from his sippy cup.
he can say "aDADADADADADADADADADADA!"
he can drool all day long, every day, through multiple bibs and outfits.
he can cut a tooth. and almost another one.
he can bite mommy 5 times. 5 times. the girls only bit me once a piece.
he can perfectly content until he sees mommy or daddy walk by, then he must be held immediately.
he can play in his ducky bathtub and splash the water.
he can use his pincer pinch.
he can handle being in the car like a champion.
he can pull your hair faster than a ninja.
he can never let go of your hair.
he can snuggle like all get out.
he can snore like a lumberjack.
he can already torture the dog and cat.
he can not sleep without his precious silky blanky.
he can chew on a binky.
he can not suck on a binky.
he can freak out when large and loud vehicles go by.
he can squeeze your sides with his chunky thighs when he gets excited.
he can not, under any circumstance keep his tongue inside his mouth. should i be worried?
he can play in his play pen every morning, afternoon, and evening, for up to 15 minutes. hallelujah!
he can not crawl yet (double hallelujah!)
he can melt your crusty hard heart in a second.

i wish this little man would stop growing for a while. i love this age.

run for a wish

2012-02-08T21:47:00.000-08:00

have you ever had a babysitter for your kids that just felt like, "your" babysitter? like you could call her up any day of the week or weekend and she'd be there for you? and you don't mind if she sees your house dirty. and she knows where everything is in your house and it feels totally normal to have her there?

well that's our jenni. we LOVE her. as in l.o.v.e. sometimes i start to get worried that hte girls prefer her over me. multiple times a day phoebe will say when we get into the car, "weawa git jenniiiii?"

so anyways, jenni is a make a wish kid and every year team Moapa Valley walks in this fundraiser. Well last year two kids came down with the stomach flu so we missed. But this year we all made it, even daddy and cousin Kaleb came. Before the race started we were stuck in the middle of the festivities with the double BOB stroller, which is huge, next to the star wars crew. they were legit! seriously, so cool. i'm surprised phoebe wasn't afraid of them, but abby totally was. chewbacca kept trying to get a picture with her and she would not go for it.

the walk was fun and maybe next year i'll run the 5k! that sounds like a good goal. it was awesome to support our favorite jenni. she is the best. especially because she laughs at all my jokes and knows how to yell at eddie. : )

i'm crazy and i know it. (and some weight loss stuff)

2012-02-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

exhibit a: this video. i caught on tape my shenanigans as a mom. like when the kids keep pestering me with questions i break out in song and dance. it drives them crazy! or as abby says here, "you're ruining the video!"

exhibit b: for a while now i've been thinking about doing something about the previous post. you know, the dreaded B word: baby weight. every baby i have i gain at least 35 lbs.

#1. 50lbs.
#2. 35lbs.
#3. 68lbs
#4. 50lbs.

and then i have to sweat and toil for an entire year to lose it. and it takes a lot of work and it stinks. a lot of the weight that i gain is not necessary, but a result of eating an entire pizza at 3am because i want to. i have some aunts who have had success on weight watchers and i have a dear friend tammy, who was my TNT trainer in 2008-2009 for the Salt Lake City Marathon. And she lost 105 lbs on weight watchers! She is an amazing racealker and just inspirational all aroun. I'm so grateful to call her my friend. Anyways, i've talked to her more than a few times about weight watchers. and the weirdest part was i signed up on her 7th anniversary on it. i told her about it and she said, "be brave and blog about it!" so i am. I took the plunge...and signed up! ahhhhh i just wrote that on my blog!!!!

the funniest part is i was so worried about how difficult it would be to learn "points". my brain is rattled and full to the brim already. but i finally did it because i have tried tons and tons of diets. the zone diet (which was the most succesful of them). the south beach diet. the biggest loser diet. the tracy anderson diet (yikes). 5 factor diet. and on and on and on. and i know most of them work if you actually do them, but my personality cannot handle having "forbidden" foods. i go bat crap crazy if you say, "no sugar" or "no flour". ah!!!! (fyi: ty and i don't even know what bat crap crazy means, but i keep saying it? weird). i also can't handle eating a huge chunk of chicken for 2 meals a day. yuck. i always make it (The maximum) of 4 weeks on these diets, and then i lose it. i need something lifelong. i need something new.

so the day i signed up online i started to put in my foods that i had eaten and guess what? it adds up everything for you! no thinking required! hallelujah. this is exactly what i need. it tells me when to stop eating and how much more exercise i need for the week etc. etc. etc. fabulous! so i put in my foods and wouldn't you know it, i was all out of points for the day already. and it was only 2pm. ha! no wonder i'm not losing any weight. dur.

it is day 3 on my journey and so far i really enjoy it. i don't know how much i'll write about but i'm really hopeful this time. ty's cheering me on (but not in a machismo way) and i've pretty much told everyone now ( i told all my zumba buddies last night!). so if i'm at your house and i decline your delicous double decker german chocolate cake, please don't be offended. i'm trying hard to make a lifestyle change. wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

my spanx give me a false sense of security

2012-02-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

last thursday things were running a little crazy around the house. by the time we got the kids fed and in bed i had to rush and get ready for zumba.

i didn't wear my "special layer" as i like to call it, and hey, didn' think it would really matter.

oh my jello jigglers.

it mattered.

things are have got to change around here. things have got to change.

sometimes the answer is amazingly simple

2012-02-03T08:38:00.000-08:00

i've talked before about how hair challenged i am. i definitely started behind the curve having 3 girls in a row. how would i do all that hair? since lucy was about 2 i have attempted to french braid. i've had friends and relatives show me. i've googled it, youtubed it and whatevered it to learn how. and i could never do it. somehow it was just too difficult for my fingers to do. for the life of me i could not figure it out. i just chalked it up as another "fail" in my parenting department.

and then the other day i was doing lucy's hair and i had an epiphany. or as phoebe would say, "yightbulb!" from despicable me. do it in reverse. braid it under instead of over, like an inside out braid (what are those called?). my roommate teresa always did hers like that but i assumed it was more advanced and needed to learn regular first. well guess what? i'm lefthanded (just like teresa) and it worked! i automatically could french braid. just like that. poof. magic. i'm still a rusty beginner, but lucy proudly stepped onto the bus this morning in two matching (and pretty even if i say so) french braids. i don't think she could have fanned her tail feathers out more if she tried.

as i was talking to my sister danna about this last night (she's in town. hoorah!) i realized how simple the solution was is just like my trials in parenting lately. for 7 years i have been a mom, some days are good, some are more trying. but overall i always felt like i could keep up with the kids and get by. but this past year and half have been hard. i can't keep up with their wants and needs. they were not feeling loved. i just couldn't do it on my own anymore. i asked advice up and down the street, read books, and beat myself up mentally for not being able to be a good mom.

and then, the poof. magic. moment happened. prayer. i know right? that just sounds too simple. but i had exhausted my resources. and morning after morning and day after day i prayed for help. help to know their needs. help to make them feel loved. help for them to be happy. help to keep the house in order (which facilitates a lot of their comfort and happiness). because years and years of trying on my own and advice from others was like trying to french braid the regular way. and my fingers just can't do that. but to go straight to the source and say, "i can not do this on my own. please help me to figure it out" and then ask advice, research and get to work. i'm amazed at the difference it has made in our home.

the peace.

the happiness.

i just had to try it in reverse.

master bedroom pictures

2012-02-02T10:53:00.000-08:00

i asked ty why he is so dang grumpy lately. in his reply he mumbled something like, "there so much i have to do on the house."

and this is true. almost every spare moment of this man's life is spent towards fixing the house, our vehicles or the property. but, and this is a big but, we knew it would be like this. does it make our life stressful? yes. does it keep us out of trouble? double yes. our bedroom has been undergoing some huge transformations. in my quest for cleanliness i have been mainstreaming everything and purging. we moved around a lot of furniture and pictures and i'm really happy with the results so far. our bedroom is so nice now it is "off limits" to anyone who is not a parent. it really is a peaceful little spot of our house.

of course we have no idea how to agree on the closet openings. ty likes them bare with nothing. i like curtains. should we make doors? i just don't know.

ty finished the tile of our master bath and i just finished painting the bathroom! expect some pictures of the finished product soon.
*and fyi* my room is a disaster now trying to keep a 2 year old entertained while i paint.

photo booth moments

2012-01-31T08:15:00.000-08:00

whenever rodney wears this hat i think, "harry! you're hands are freezing!"

(please, somebody know what i'm talking about)

i love my days spent with this sweet little girl. she is sandwhiched between one brilliant but bossy 7 year old and our hyperactive wildflower 2 year old. our favorite pasttime now is napping together on my bed. it seems like august will be here before i know it.

one of my favorite quotes

2012-01-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

marianne williamson

nonsense

2012-01-29T20:39:00.000-08:00

the kids are asleep. ty and i are relaxing, i have a few minutes to write. but really, i think i might just go to bed. so many thoughts rolling around inside my head- i feel like just numbing them out with slumber.

my posts have succombed to bullets on what has been going on. so maybe i'll take a few minute to actually write.

this week has been a good one for our little family. nothing spectacular, nothing drastic. we all came down with a cold which kept us from being able to visit my friend Willow and her girls till Saturday. we spent almost 3 hours at the park visiting and it was wonderful. but it also just felt like ripping off a bandaid off a wound that hasn't healed. the girls miss her girls so very much. i miss her calm spirit so very much. every friend has a spot in my life and her spot is empty when she's gone all the way up in utah. i wish i could walk into her living room again, plop down on the carpet and talk to her about everything and nothing all at once.

the house is coming along a little at a time. the more corners and drawers i get organized the more motivated i am to just finish! this house already. paint baseboards, finish the laundry room, master bath and phoebe's closet. then we can just work on putting in a yard. oh how i long for a back yard where i can watch my kids run and play from the kitchen window in grass instead on top of piles of old 2x4's.

i've been thinking a lot about keeping commandments and blessings. it seems as though everytime i read the scriptures that is what keeps mingling in my head. keep the commandments and you will be blessed. and then i get thinking, well what commandments are hard for me to keep? the first one i thought on was keeping the sabbath holy. so that is my goal this month, to try and dedicate the day to the Lord as much as possible (while still feeding, tending and cleaning up the kids). i feel selfish wanting more blessings then i already have, but goodness it would be nice.

i'm still working on 2 loads of laundry a day (except on sundays) and oh crap it sounds so simple and is so hard. baby steps though. i love my children. i love my husband. i love my home. i love my friends. i love our families. i feel so grateful for all that i have right now and don't feel like i deserve one single bit of it.

rituals

2012-01-26T07:32:00.000-08:00

all of the girls have been the same about their babies and blankies. they love them and love them and have to have them with them at bedtimes and when they are feeling sick or traveling.

they're not called "security" blankets for nothin!

luckily we have a front loader now and the owner can keep close watch on their valuables while they wash. oh the tantrums we had with the old washing machine. 25 minutes just couldn't pass soon enough!

seen and heard: daddy edition

2012-01-25T08:31:00.000-08:00

"do you like my new sign?" -me
"um, yeah. where did you get it?" - ty
"at a yard sale for 50 cents, then i spray painted it" - me
"it's cool, but what does it mean?" - ty
"it says, LOVE." - me
" i know that, but what does it mean?"- ty
"love. love. it says love" - me
"i know, but what does it mean?" - ty
"oh nevermind!" - me

"look, i covered up the water heater with a curtain! do you like it?" -me
"eh"- ty
"you don't like the curtain?" - me
"curtains have no function"- ty
( i guess he likes the giant metallic water heater look)

we hired a babysitter for saturday so we could go on a hike together to exercise. i look out the backwindow and the fourwheelers are out there.
"what are you doing with the fourwheelers?" -me
"well, we have to ride them to get to the hike. did you think we were going to drive?"- ty
"well yeah, i didn't think this was a ride/hike"- me
"what, are you afraid you don't know how to ride one anymore?"- ty
"no! of course i do!"- to which i put my helmet on a turn the fourwheeler on. i'll show him!

i swear that man just enjoys getting me riled up.

gotta love the helmet hair we both are sportin'

you'll just have to wait now.

2012-01-24T08:38:00.000-08:00

i narrowed down my resolutions al little, or i guess i defined them a little more:

i have resolved to wash and put away two loads of laundry a day. sounds simple right? well, it is surprisingly difficult to get clothes put away!

and also to have 5 minute pick ups of the bedrooms every day. the girls have caught on fast.

and also also, to turn off my computer during the day.

this has been a hard one. i check my email in the morning. check a few sites, and then, power off. (gasp!)

i've started to make lists during the day for when the kids are in bed: "things to look up on pinterest today". like, good chicken thigh recipes. and tv stand furniture plans. and dishwasher prices. and activity day ideas for church.

let me tell you, i get so much more done during the day now. it's actually kind of embarassing.but i also ahve so much to write down and not enough time.

like how ty and i have been having so many fun dates together.

and how i got pulled over for speeding by two policemen!

and how our heater broke in our house as soon as it got cold here.

but you'll have to wait till i have time to write all these goodies down. and in the meantime, enjoy phoebe in her tutu. and yes, she's totally buck underneath. that silly girl.

a few things for the weekend

2012-01-20T07:15:00.000-08:00

-this article was good. really good. read it. it usually doesn't bother me when older people advise me to "enjoy it now!", but when parents say, "enjoy it now, it only gets worse when they grow up!" it peeves.

-i finally read this book. joshlyn has been on me for years to read it. she finally gave in a gave it to me for christmas. oh, it was just perfect. but warning, make sure you are either sick or have a few days to just lie on the couch. i could not put it down.

-my brother and his neighbors all had to evacuate due to this fire. bless those poor people that lost their homes.

-ty and i have watched this trailer probably 100 times. ever since we saw fantastic mr. fox we are wes anderson fans. it's kind of addicting. rodney's getting old enough for us to go out of town on dates, so this movie is going to be one of them. i doubt it's coming to our little pioneer theatre : )

-do you ever have outfits that you wear that you feel semi-comfortable with after having a baby? for the entire time i nurse my body stays squishy and wiggly. i think it is really good at storing food for emergency preparedness. this makes it difficult to find things that fit well and look nice at the same time. so i wore said "nice" outfit to the wedding, and wow. holy bad pictures batman.

ME, RUSS, SARAH, DANNA

whenever this happens it sparks my body image weirdness that i used to have and i want to diet now! and lose weight now! and never look like that again!. but then i take a deep breath, embrace reality and realize i am just fine and will lose it all eventually.

-on monday rodney cut his first tooth! and lucy lost another front tooth! i officially declared the day "TOOTHDAY!" and lucy responded with her hands on her hips, "no mom, it's monday."

- we still haven't taken family pictures and i'm starting to panic. rodney is getting so big! the girls are already outgrowing their christmas dresses! ty and i don't have hardly any pictures of us together! but it will happen. we were going to take them a few weeks ago and my SIL's camera broke! sad day.

here is the best recent picture i have of ty and me. he is hot no?

(rodney, stop sticking out that stinkin tongue!)

-i've been cleaning like a mad woman. organizing and tossing everything. i usually feel like this every january, but when we were at the challis' house abby and ty were playing in the room and abby looked around, sighed and said, "it is clean here!" ouch.

-zumba and pilates are going awesome. word of mouth it spreading like wildfire and women are coming! and we have a large high school crowd coming now too! it actually makes me more nervous when a lot of new people come. because what if they don't like it? what if they don't like the moves? songs? me? ahhh! it's like one giant rejection! and can i tell you how hard it is to find popular, fun songs that are clean? very hard. so i felt badly when i busted out the john denver cool down song, but hey. it was a sunny day and i wanted to celebrate.

-i truly think being mormon just makes you more inventive. growing up we couldn't swear in the house, just like most other kids of our faith. and after generations of this we adapted to fit in. natural selection is real my friends. watch this video. it's hilarious. growing up my brothers always said, "son of a biscuit!"

happy weekend!

cherished memories

2012-01-19T08:20:00.000-08:00

most days i try really hard to be a good parent to my children. i sacrifice a lot in their part to try and do the right thing. a social life, a rock hard body, vacations, shaved legs. you know, a lot! i play games with them and dance silly dances and take them on walks and play dates and to museums and read them books and try try try to be nice even when i'm tired and cranky. but, before you start thinking i'm wonder mom, i also make a lot of mistakes and worry about those on a constant basis.

but every once in a while, you get a little golden sliver of the future and really realize that you are doing an awesome job as a mom. and you think, "all of this IS worth it! they are going to turn out after all!". and those are cherished, cherished moments.

like yesterday, while cleaning the girls room i found this drawing and thought,

"i think i just might be the best mom that i know".

seriously, how could you not think that after seeing this?:

road trip o' twelve

2012-01-16T07:54:00.000-08:00

cleaned all the laundry. packed all the bags. took a trip to the library to stock up. loaded up with snacks. and jumped into the car at 5am. we were off to reno! for jessie's wedding.

first stop: tonopah, nevada. it was like, 25 degrees.

i love these old mining towns. ty and i chalked up the mizpah for our next 'alone' trip destination.

what a beautiful bride and cool groom. they were beaming.

(i like this photo because it looks like jerry's touching her butt. haha)

cousin ellie and phoebe

jared. jessica. jill. and my brother russ.

it was such a fun day being able to see them sealed and then watching all the cousins play together at the reception. we, of course, wished that more curtis family could have been there. the trip turned yucks by saturday morning when the babies didn't sleep the ENTIRE night and the phoebe terrorized the challis' house (who graciously hosted us) and woke up the entire household. we turned the trip short and traveled halfway home that night, which turned out a smart decision as rodney barfed all sunday morning (yes! it was awesome! and i have no idea where it came from)

a road trip with kids, is just that, a trip that looks like this:

crazy crazy crazy. and yes, the girls pulled their arms out of their straps while we were driving. argh.

when adults complain about a "long car drive" to get somewhere i just crack up inside. really? It was hard for you to just sit and listen to music and/or read for 10 hours? somebody call the wambulance. traveling with 4 kids & two of them in diapers and one with car motion sickness is like getting your wisdom teeth pulled without novocaine. the entire time i remembered, "so this is why i always stay home all day long, every single day of the week!" but alhtough there were times where i didn't buckle up because death sounded better then enduring more crying, and i think i need to see a chiropractor after turning around in my seat five thousand times to pick up a dolly or binky or hand a snack,

i'm really happy that we went.

i realized how much i miss russ and jill and their kids. it's hard to have family live far away.

we always love visiting reno and the kids all in all did travel well. rodney had a hard time falling asleep without nursing, but we just endured little 8 minutes crying sessionsm(which felt like an eternity) for 2 hours of peace. abby finally traveled well after we dosed her up with dramamine for her car sickness. phoebe and lucy worked up a little "tossing" game to share snacks and toys. phoebe would just fling it over her head to her, and lucy would fling it in return. it was hilarious. we played 20 questions and even daddy joined the game. ty and i talked a lot and i found out some important facts, like he hates ruffles on my clothes. ruffles! and he loves it when i wear plain white button up shirts. guess i need to take a trip to DI and stock up. hehehe.

*sorry mel, i hardly took any pictures. : (

five

2012-01-12T06:50:00.000-08:00

we celebrated our little abby leigh's 5th birthday yesterday. i'm a little bewildered that she is 5 already! but excited, as i think 5 is a wonderful year. she invited two little friends to come over and celebrate with family and (i'm hoping) all had a good time.

she wanted a princess themed party and i was happy to oblige. before we had rodney i was pretty anti-princess with everything. i think i just felt like i was drowning in pink, purple, blinged out tiaras and heavily cleavaged disney characters. but yesterday i threw all caution to the wind and gave abby what she wanted. she was in heaven all day long.we had scrambled eggs for breakfast, watched schoolhouse rock, she had a personal lunch date with grandma and grandpa leavitt, watched mulan during her party and had lots of family call and wish her a happy day.

a castle cake:

all dressed up for her princess party (she wanted to wear her NEW dress instead, not a hand me down!)

i let her decorate it with as many gaudy princesses as she wanted, but i think she chose wisely.

the candles were proving to be a challenge.

you've come a long way baby abby. and we love your sweet and calm spirit. i especially love all the songs that you sing in the bathtub.

*ps* i think i'm done having the older kids' birthdays on their actual birthday. instead of lying around playing card games, i let her watch tv and i cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and finished the cake.
*pps* i let abby dress herself so she is usually walking around in teeny tiny shorts and short sleeved shirts in the middle of december. but it totally paid off as she got tons of new clothes from everyone. ha! i think everyone was starting to get concerned : )

not enough time. not enough pictures.

2012-01-10T00:18:00.000-08:00

*don't mind the scary mommy in this picture. look at his smile. swoon.

little rodney is growing up like a weed in the desert.
fast and strong and can shoot up 2 more feet during the night.

poor little dude barely ever gets any pictures taken of us together. but you know, i don't feel that sorry for him. i was the youngest of 7 kids, guess how many pictures i have of me as a baby? yeah, try like 4.

*ps. i have more wrinkles than my sisters & i'm the youngest. what's up with that?

a few things already

2012-01-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

life hit superwarp speed around here and i just can't seem to keep up:

i found this picture that ty took in december

rodney is 6 months. 6! he'll be 7 months next week. shut the front door.
he's now in the age of new tricks. so yesterday, was growling, growling in the morning, growling while nursing (i have no idea how, but he did). growling while eating cereal. today is talking, badabaddadadabadababa. love it.
phoebe is blossoming into even more (!) of a personality. she currently has been walking around saying baby jesus over and over again in a strange monster voice. kind of like the kid from Overboard.
i read this, this morning. i really like her thoughts. i really like the post. somehow the "essential" things get drowned out by the "nice to do" things every day around here.
i've decided i don't like the whole "january resolution" thing. because i feel like i'm constantly trying new goals and to be better. i feel sad that everyone tries to be better at everything! all at once! and 90% of them fail. every. year. that is disheartening.
we've put an advertisement in the paper to get people to come try our classes (tara's pilates and my zumba). so far i've had one, one! new person. gagh, all that money down the drain.
ty is crazy busy with work and boy scouts and all the housework that has to be done. he is almost done retiling the master bath.
lucy can ride her bike! she wants to ride her bike to the bus stop and leave it there for when she gets home. you would totally laugh if you knew where our bus stop was. like, 30 yards from our house.
she has taken off in her reading too. meaning: i find her sneaking off after dinner to the couch to read instead of doing the dishes. i'm so proud!
abby will start kindergarten in 8 months. this makes my heart ache. i hate to see them grow up and leave. things are never quite the same after that.
she still can be found singing songs and dancing (and using the couch as a jungle gym. argh). her new hobby is making "drawings" for me and daddy and taping them up by our bed. it is so stinking sweet.
our friends came over the other day and said, "oh, your house is looking so good!", to which abby replied, "yeah, mom is getting really crafty". hahahaha.
we now have a tv in our bedroom. i said i would NEVER, no NEVER have one in our room. but you know what? it's really nice to watch, or should i say, listen to pride and prejudice while i fold the laundry.
my sister in law's pilates class has saved my life. i'm so grateful to have a strength workout to go to in our little town. you really should try it. ps: know that i couldn't do half of it my first time either!
dancing makes me so happy. and i mean, really really happy. my vocabulary sucks right now ok? somedays i can't wait to get out the door and do zumba (i hate that word). but i'm very grateful i found it and happy to share it with others. i've never had a workout that makes me smile so much. i'm hoping rodney will be trilingual from all the spanish and portuguese songs i make him bounce on my hip to.
i finally finished the my accelerated reading of the Book of Mormon for christmas time. (better late then never right?) it was more than wonderful. i hope to write about it soon when i have more time.

family time

2012-01-01T21:58:00.000-08:00

for at least 5 years (that ty and i can remember), every new years day we go on an outdoor excursion with the adams family cousins. the girls love it and we have a lot of fun just sitting around visiting. this year we had to have a short trip because of commitments for new years eve (since new years day fell on our sabbath). even though we could see our houses from where we were, it was still a lot of fun.

and not too bad of weather. i must say, this years weather during the holidays has been more than marvelous.

lucy, abby and uncle taylor up in the narrows

we found phoebe's eye twin, cousin mads

rodney, our little himilayan baby. that tongue!

adams family girls (minus austrie in canada)

i tried to protect rodneys ears during the shooting.

i love this picture. phoebe really likes those two

grandpa adams is a total stud
*thanks aunt corinne for the pictures. i was lazy and didn't take a single one!

have a hap hap happy new year

2011-12-31T19:48:00.000-08:00

i totally got busted for the last post! i thought for sure it would fall into the crack of times when ty doesn't read the blog for a few days. but no, he read it.

don't worry, we laughed about it all and he's been pointing out all the fungus that is probably growing in our house because of the hat comment. hahahahaha. he's so funny huh? (insert sarcastic tone here)

so anyways, happy new years! i'm so excited for 2012.
my odd years are usually a little "iffy" but the even years rock! hoorayyyy!!!!

we celebrated in extra special grand mode with the girls: a new years dinner of yummy appetizers and cream puffs and sparklers and sparkling apple cider. the best part? every kid was in bed by 7:45. (we have church at 9am tomorrow! yikes!)

some of my new years resolutions are :

eat to live-not live to eat

and keep a clean house. i currently vacillate between a perfectly clean house (which only lasts 2 hours-and took me all day to do), to a complete pigsty. i would like to hit a happy median here.

i have more resolutions but they are mine and i'm not sharing.

so there.

what are your resolutions this year?

sometimes i just don't get my husband

2011-12-28T23:03:00.000-08:00

ty and i have almost been married 9 years. that's not very long for some and a long time for others. we've been dating since 1998. i'm too tired right now to count the years for that.
but i digress. the point was to put down in memory most of our conversations that leave me wondering, "am i the only wife who thinks this?"

for example: clothing. ty has probably gone clothing shopping 10 times in his entire life. i buy his clothes. his mom bought his clothes. the end.

for christmas, i pick out some nice stretchy skinny jeans for yours truly (because let me tell you, nothing and i mean nothing, is more comfortable for me). they are perfect for squatting, and bending, and sitting, and all the other things moms do all day long. so i don't care if i look like a stuffed turkey in them, they work. and he squinches up his nose and says, "no one looks good in those". which means, he wants me to not wear them. at first i was all, "ok, honey buns, i won't wear these if you don't like them." and then it dawned on me, this is coming from the man who wears his holey SHIFT t-shirt from senior year. and greasy jeans with holes and tears all over them. and a boston red sox hat that has probably seven kinds of fungus growing on it. (*i should note that although i buy his clothes, he will not let me buy him clothes, and if i do, he still wears the old stuff)

so basically i said, in a really nice way i promise, "i'll start wearing what you want me to wear, when you start wearing what i want you to wear". and i know that is not the "love language", kind-hearted, selfless thing to do in a relationship. but stretchy skinny jeans just are soo comfortable gosh darn it.

another debate is home decor. he says our bedding for our master bedroom is too "girly". i say "eat it" because i like it and it's soothing and i'm the one whose home all day looking at it. i ask him opinions and opinions and opinions on where to move/replace/swap/turn furniture. finally last night, after his 15th "mmmhmmm" reply i asked, "should i just tell you where i want things to go and not even ask?" and i swear he had a relieved look on his face when he said, "yes!".

and i don't know if its because he doesn't have an opinion, or he knows that his opinion isn't mine and if we don't do what i want i'm going to complain about it for eternity? these are deep thoughts i'm having here people.

deep.

i better go to bed before i start divulging too much about us. ha!

christmas morn

2011-12-27T07:38:00.000-08:00

the girls slept in until 6:20, which was nice. ty asked if they wanted to just snuggle with us in bed for a little while before opening presents. abby was game, lucy not so much. we woke up phoebe and poor girl struggled all day long. talk about sugar highs and lows.

phoebe was more interested in cookies until about 8am

abby loves her new bike

it inspired lucy to be brave enough to take off her training wheels

never too late to learn right? we all have different talents right?

nothing like those first few moments of christmas

santa wrote lucy a letter this year
and of course, the middle child wasn't happy about not getting a letter.

we had a great yet tiring day chock full of church and family,
and family and family and family and family!
we are so blessed. looking forward to the new year.
(i've already started deep cleaning and organizing plans in my head)

merry christmas from hidden hollow

2011-12-24T21:19:00.000-08:00

the children are all tucked into their beds, filled with sweet dreams of santa clause.

the dishes are stacked and dirty and the house is a mess, but it is because i'm blessed enough to have food to cook and children to feed. there are toys all over because there is life in this home. beautiful, blessed, overflowing little lives.

this christmas has been a lovely one. full of ups and downs. but i know the years will fly by, and i will crave, oh i know my heart will just ache for these christmas' that are full of smudgy handprints on the windows, broken ornaments and running little feet in the hallways.

we are so grateful to share our lives with you.
all the good and the bad
we know that gratitude and cheerfulness can get you through anything.

merry, merry, merry christmas to you and yours.

dear santa, this christmas i would like a lobotomy

2011-12-23T14:28:00.000-08:00

my mom always waited a lot longer to decorate for christmas then any of my friends. i thought she was just, like, so weird. when lucy was a toddler i never listened when she said, "you should wait to decorate till just a week before". what? crazy talk i tell you.

and so, every year we bust out the full on decor the day after thanksgiving. tree! stockings! decor! music! and it's absolutely fantastic.

and then...oh and then. 4 weeks later the kids are absolutely bonkers. i have so many things to get done that i get paralyzed (remember diy paralysis? i also suffer from holiday paralysis). wrapping, cards, baking, dinner, cleaning, laundry, playing, organizing, sweeping, wiping, diapers, diapers, diapers and more diapers to change.

ah. exhaustion! i just can't take it any more!!!!! and to top it off, my kids are getting more and more disobedient the closer it gets to christmas. they just can't handle the pressure. i finally put out a few, and i mean a few, kids christmas presents yesterday as i thought, "they won't be tempted to open them in just 2 days". wrongo. a child who will not be named just snapped. and walking out the door to grandma's i notice an opened package ever so gently placed back on the pile.

" who opened the present? i asked. no, i demanded.

crickets.

and then, it was phoebe.
and then it was the cat (the CAT!),
and then it was an accident ,
and then it was nobody again.

"well unless i hear the truth no one is getting that present" i stated. the best part is, it is "prancer's" present. so not knowing to whom it belongs everyone is having seizures at this point. ( i use reindeer code for their names to discourage gift opening. yeah, that worked awesome)

fast forward 3 hours later. there has been crying. and pleading. and "i did its!" and "i didn't do its!" and a sister who is cajoled into confession. and then, i snapped. i had had enough. i didn't care that the present was opened but the fibbing and fibbing and fibbing! ENOUGH! i said. and i threw the present up on top of the roof.

that was my only option. i was exhausted of the answer of what to do. there was no solution to my tired, frazzled brain and i just wanted it to stop. i threw a present onto our roof. that sounds so crazy now that i write it down.

i called ty and said, "i just threw a present on top of the roof."

"well, as long as it works." he replied. (i love that guy)

and guess what, i don't think any kid in our household will open a present before christmas again. but i'm also not going to put presents out under the tree until christmas eve, at like, 9:30pm.

the avarice. the greed. i hate how it so easily smothers out peace, good will and joy at this time of year.

mom, you were right. waiting to do it all is the most brilliant idea in the world.
why do us moms with little kids make ourselves suffer so?

parenting mistake #3: we thought it was like riding a bike

2011-12-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

I wouldn’t say that I ever imagined parenthood to be “easy” or that my kids would be “perfect”. But I did imagine that I would eventually learn everything and thus “have it together” and “know what I was doing.” Enough with the quotes already. Somehow, somewhere, I got the notion that I would figure out parenting and be comfortable with it. Granted, parenting is fun for me. I love my babies, I love kids. I still want to have more kids. I love having kids with my husband and raising them, but as I heard recently, “yes, these are all my kids, and it’s no picnic.”

The first kid came, and she was beautiful. And perfect, and smart, and cute and polite and obedient. We both thought, “dang! We must be doing something right!”. And then our second one came, and besides a rough start at birth, she was the easiest baby and toddler we have had by far. Mellow, happy, a peacemaker (thank you Abigail!).

We had our rules and our perfectly timed naps and bedtimes and our manners and our meals together. And everything was honky dory (sp?). we were good parents! We knew what we were doing! Those other parents were lame! And then, the years passed and we added another easy going baby (again, we got lucky), but something happened, our oldest one kept getting older. I know right? And then she got , like, opinions and all that crap. And oh, she’s a talker. I keep telling her she would be a kick butt lawyer. And then she started kindergarten and we didn’t have complete control of our day or our schedule anymore, and I was pregnant with our 4^th almost the entire first year of school (awesome!!).

AndI started to struggle with being “the mom”, when things weren’t so easy anymore. my kids weren't perfect, i wasn't perfect. i didn't know what i was doing at all! And as hard it was getting to manage three little independent, free spirit souls who are smart and sassy and moving a jillion miles a minute, I still dreamt that when my kids were older, I would have it “together” and “know what I was doing.”. total pipe dream. Insert My 16 year old niece coming to live with us for a month and I had an epiphany, the mom I am today is the mom I’m going to be when they are older”. I wasn’t the fun, silly but strict, easy going mom that you could talk to. I was the harping, record playing, mean mom that gave the evil eye (hey, it works on 4 year olds) and jumped all over you the second you even wavered from doing the perfectly right thing exactly when I asked.

And here I am today, with 4 kids under the age of 7. And I have no idea what I am doing. Some days I feel that I am not strict enough and I am ruining them. The next day I’ll feel that I’m too strict and I am ruining them. We keep trying out rules and rules and chores and consequences. some stick, others don’t. I’ve found that new and exciting rules and chore charts all have a shelf life of approximately 2 weeks. Because human nature (unless you are ocd, and some days I wish I was) just can’t keep be perfectly consistent with every single thing, all the time, every day.

So instead of boasting of my parent skills and how I have it together and know what I am doing. I’ll be honest. I love being a parent, but it is hard. Each one of our kids are so different from the next. Different personalities, different strengths, different weaknesses, different needs. It’s like having to run a different obstacle race every single day and not knowing the course. And who can do that? I can’t. so every day I pray for help that I can do the right thing, say the right thing, and maybe teach them something important for the day and that they know that i love them.

But I know now that I will never have it figured out or know what I’m doing.

And I’m ok with that.

if you ever wondered what ZUMBA! is like...

2011-12-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

wonder no more my friends.

pure awesomeness.

classes start back up next week

tuesday/thursday nights

8-9pm

Old Overton Gym

you should call us

2011-12-20T12:22:00.000-08:00

because then you could get to talk to phoebe. she just loves to talk on the phone. more than a few times a day i have a phone shoved in my face and her saying "ia calla nama!" "call dampa?", translation: "get grandma or grandpa on the phone STAT!"

the other day her hair was actually done and she hadn't pulled it out...yet. so i snapped a few pictures of her talking on the phone with auntie danna. she is really in such a fun/cute but physically tiring age. she definitely rules the roost.

*showing me how her and dolly dance together

busy and sick. sick and busy.

2011-12-19T06:15:00.000-08:00

i was really enjoying this holiday season. i had so much joy and thanks in my heart.

and then...

ty got sick. and then the kids. and i had to rest to get over a womanly issue sickness (tmi!)

and all of a sudden i got behind in everything.

and the sadness wave hit again because it just took one little cold to rock me out of my good groove i had going on. i was really starting to feel a (little) more on top of things. and now the laundry is overflowing and the dishwasher broke (which just makes my dish problem even worse), the presents are unwrapped, and i'm doing the last minute thought mambo in my head: wait? should i give this present to A and the other one to B? or switch them and then give something else to C? when will i get all the cooking done! and wrapping! and send out the cards because we never did last year! and is it ok they won't have photos in them this year? can you send a card without a photo? does lucy believe in Santa Clause still? and my brain is already scrambled so it's just making things worse.

but deep breath here, it's the most wonderful time of the year!

and i'm not going to let social pressures and customs ruin my fun. the cards will not have photos and i'm not sending out a christmas goody plate a plenty this year. and i'm going to be merry and bright no matter what!

even typing that just makes me want to crawl into bed for eternity.

anyone else battle holiday depression?

to cheer myself up, here are some pictures i snapped while lucy and i battled out a rummikub game. (that girl cheats just like her mother used to)

from a house to a home

2011-12-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

when we moved into our house it was just that. a house. it had walls, floors, and a roof. it had doors and windows and rooms and a kitchen. getting pregnant with your 4th child after just 3 months of moving into your fixer upper home is not something i would recommend. for the past year i have struggled because the house wasn't "homey" (is that word?).

so little by little, i've been trying to make little spots that i love. just like the coat rack i made, i've added some other things around the place that make me smile.

my santa collection is growing

i love my new thomas monson drawing(that is not a photo!) from Jordan Jones.

i fall more in love with it every day.

i made the others from a geography book of the places i want to travel, africa, australia and europe.

and gardening book sketch of a cow- both of our families have dairy farmers.

one of the cutest additions to the house so far (sorry, couldn't resist!)

trying to tackle our 40ft long hallway. yes, 40 feet!

and my favorite quote from charlotte's web.

perfect for when i'm running out the door screaming at the kids to "get in the car!"

*don't mind the not painted trim and door (woops!)

6 months of gratitude

2011-12-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

little rodney byron has been on this earth for 6 whole months now.
ty always gets mad at me, because this is the part where i gasp, "can you believe it?!"
and then i get all psycho and don't feed him his vegetables because i don't want him to grow up.
but that's a different post for a different time.

my back is starting to hurt from lugging around our {not-so-little} love chunk. he is so huge! as of this morning he weighs 21lbs (on our scale at home) & wears 12-18 mo old clothes now. i know, crazy talk. but it is all true. he's a large baby boy, and it makes me sad and pleased all at the same time. does that make sense?

isn't he a total stud?

so today, on his 6 month mark, i am grateful.
for our beautiful boy that was given to us.
for all of the friends and family that have showered us with help and love (and boy stuff!).
for my husband and daughters.
for all of the challenges we haved faced with this baby. because it has stretched me to lengths i never knew i could go and beyond.
i will always be grateful for my baby boy- because he made me turn to my Savior for help. and my heart will never be the same again.

i am looking forward to enjoying these next 6 months.
because the first baby year is just so deliciously perfect.

*on a "growing out of clothes note", because i can't keep up with rodney's growth. my beautiful next door neighbor Tiffany graced us with ALL of their baby boy clothes. i literally cried tears when i saw the boxes. the best part? they smell just like her house, heavenly. and the girls everyday ask, "was that leo's?" "was that eli's?" and then they ooh and ahh over them. i love that we still can feel so close to them even though there is 500 miles between us.

there once was a little girl...

2011-12-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

who started with a strong personality from conception

who my mom says, "must have something important to do later on". which i think is just a nice way of saying, "there must be some payoff for how difficult she is right now."

when she is good...she is very very good. and when she is bad...she is

horrid.

this is what i devised after an hour of putting her back into her crib. she is seriously a houdini ninja monkey when it comes to climbing out of that thing. i sat on our kitchen stool for an hour! just to hear her get out. she even learned how to open the door slowly so as to not ring the "jingle" bell i put on there as an alarm. the stroller worked really well as it would make a lot more noise. someone is going to call cps on me after seeing these photos. wouldn't that be awesome!

*apologies for the snotty faced pictures. this kid is like pig pen.

parent mistake #2: we potty trained

2011-12-08T06:24:00.000-08:00

When our oldest turned 2 we bought her underwear for her birthday. They were so cute and it was going to be so fun! They had little ruffles and bows and princesses on them! She was a big girl! I mean, she talked about the potty and would ask what I was doing when I went, so of course she was ready! My mom gently suggested, “when you potty train you are only training yourself” a quote she famously learned from her mother, a pediatric nurse. And in the back of my head I could also remember my sister in law jill saying, “don’t ever potty train. Wait for them”. But what did they all know? They only have 19 kids collectively. Pshaw, pocket change.

So we did what any normal first time parents did. We read and read about potty training (ok…I read and then told ty about it during pillow talk). And set up a sticker chart…and potty trained! It was awesome! She loved it!

And then she spent 8 months crapping in her pants! And for 3 years would regress with every vacation, holiday, & change! I couldn’t get in the car to run errands without stressing out. I couldn't go to church of friend's houses without stressing out. Car trips were a nightmare where we would have to bring the baby bjorn with us (a potty I highly recommend, thanks mel!).

The saddest part is that it took years to recover our relationship with each other (her and I) of fighting over accidents and pooping on her sister (and you think I just made that last part up).
All in all it just stressed out our entire household, and I feel like we lost those sweet moments of 2 yr olds when they are just so happy, care-free and love everything and everyone.

So with our second child we waited. And waited and waited. And when she was 3 years and 3 months she said, “ I want to wear undies today” and I said sweet! And put them on with no hopes whatsoever. And that was it. Potty trained in one day my friends. No accidents. Dry at night in 4 months (she wore pullups at night until then…I only change sheets once a week dudes, ok…more like once a month. Sorry mom!). it was so simple and easy. I wasn’t completely and totally stressed out and exhausted over accidents and public outings. I didn’t yell at her when she had accidents (I think she’s had 3 in almost 3 years) or pooped in the pullup. No stress this time around was my goal. And it totally worked, and she never pooped on her sister. Success!

So a little suggestion (because Ty agrees 100%) is to try and resist the social pressure and urge to potty train(because it will be there) and not potty train. Don’ talk about using the potty or if they “want” to use the potty. If you ask a 2 year old if they want a full frontal lobotomy they say “yes” too. When they come up to you and say, “dude, you don’t walk around with poop in your pants? How do I join that club?” then they are ready. And I know, know, know, know all you first time mom's will say, "whatever. my kid is much more mature and just so ready!" and that's cool. I did the exact same thing.

* I think I have met maybe a handful (maybe) of moms in 8 years who said potty training was easy for their kid. If you are one of them, then bully for you! Stand up, pat yourself on the back and relish the fact that you haven’t had to scrub poop out of carpet.

losing pickles

2011-12-07T15:34:00.000-08:00

our favorite kitty pickles has been with us since we've moved to our little home here. she's been gone now for a few weeks (a tragedy our neighbors told us that would befall an outdoor cat here). unfortunately i'm pretty sure she was coyote food. the other girls don't seem to mind, but poor lucy has been in mourning. i found this while cleaning just now:

*face looks: tired. how sad is that? poor pickles. i miss her too.

parent mistake #1: we didn't buy a minivan

2011-12-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

Tyson and I agreed from day one of marriage that minivans are out. They are ugly, unattractive, rice rocket, mommy mobiles that can’t go where we need them to go. i.e: rocky dirt roads to awesomeness.  I also told ty that if we bought a  minivan my chest would automatically sag 2 inches. The topic was never mentioned again. 

Fast forward 8 ½ years later and my sister comes to help take care of me after baby number 4. Our car was out of commission with the a/c getting fixed so she tossed me the keys and said: “take the van”, and with that my whole world changed. Yes, they are ugly, unattractive, rice rocket, mommy mobiles and can’t go “every”where we need them to go (but we also have a lifted 86’ suburban for that): but!…they are the most amazingly awesome invention for families. ever. Holy lower stress levels batman! I could see all my kids! They could strap themselves in! and close and open doors by themselves! And they had space! And it drove like a sleigh on perfectly softy snow! By the time the week ended and she drove away in her asian, gas hating beauty I was banging my head against the wall crying “why? why? why were we so stupid?” 

so when push comes to shove, and you have to get a bigger car. might i suggest the ugly minivan? they are badical. 

in passing may i suggest,

2011-12-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

* ty and i kicked off our holiday movie tradition with this one. it is one of our favorites. joe juniah!

*i want bangs. i want them badly. i want a lot of things but those sound more affordable than an ipad.

* i officially arrived in housewifery. i had a tupperware party. their stuff is pretty amazing.

* had fun hanging out till late with my neighbors. those girls kill me everytime.

*there are bloggers that i start to follow, and then i can barely stand to read them. some it only takes a few posts of reading, some years. i don't know if it's that i'm tired of their style of writing or i'm completely jealous at their following. nat the fat rat... no thanks. but cjane i read for a long time and now hardly remember she has a blog...but i just read her birth story. holy cow i don't even know what to think.

*i have been losing a little bit of weight with this baby...and it's been nice. i work out 4-5 times a week and it's starting to make a difference. i still have 20lbs to lose and would like to do it by rodney's 9 month mark.

*my zumba class and tara's pilates class were in the local paper last week!

*i have really been enjoying this holiday season. our house looks nice and festivelike. and my heart feels like it bursting with joy. glory to God! glory to God! i want to sing to everyone (but my kids forbid me from singing outside of the home. just ask jed wheeler why singing is not one of my talents)

*hunting season 2011 is over. hallelujah. huzzah. goodgraciousi'mgladit'sover.

*i have some fun less-expensive but thoughtful diy christmas gifts i'm planning to make and hope i don't pull a major nosedive like i have in past years and then go out and buy giftcards. blech.

*my niece is getting married in january. i'm sorry, my NIECE is getting married? she was one of my flower girls! holly golly that makes me feel old. besides that, we are so excited to go up to Reno for the wedding. we love reno trips.

*toffee. what is the secret aunt lynne? i either grossly undercook it or overcook it till it's crunchy. luckily ty and the kids will eat anything with chocolate on it.

*we live on 2+ acres and that means mice. yuck! i swear those little buggers crap on only the things that i need to use on purpose. i found the perfect mouse trap bait though, after you make toffee, or any other candy type food that hardens, use the leftovers to coat the trigger- let it harden and the set your traps. works everytime and you don't have to replace any bait! they can't resist the buttery goodness. (if you don't bake you can also chew up some cheap gum, wrap it on there and let dry.

my favorite new dessert

2011-12-02T06:36:00.000-08:00

i think i could nibble on this baby all day long

seriously, could he get any more delicious? i think not.

i had to put this photo in, because this is how he always is...with his tongue hanging out. grandma informed us that daddy did this all the time too. it's really cute, but some days he doesn't too look too intelligent like that.

childhood scars

2011-11-30T13:23:00.000-08:00

i've never experienced as much fear as a parent when i realized that my oldest will remember what is happening. 2, 3, heck even 5 if your my sister sarah, you can't remember that far back. but 6! i remember being 6! i even remember kindergarten, and i especially remember my good friend mo egan and that i was the only one who couldn't tie the snowshoes that day and i cried in the corner and they put a picture of it on the year book.

monday was one of those days for lucy. she ran off the bus teary eyed and bawling. she had puked on the bus. my kid was "that kid". i can't believe she did it, but she merrily got back on the bus this morning. and oh! how i prayed for her. please don't let those kids make fun of her! something like that never dies down, kids are like elephants with embarassing crap. i will never forget ben shryock from elementary school. why? because he barfed all over his yearly exams 2 years in a row.

when i hugged lucy and helped her wash off her coat and hair i thought about how that bird pooped on my in middle school. i've never looked at a seagull the same way again.

but at the same time, things like this happen to every child don't they? that's life...things are starting to go a little good, and then a bird poops on your head. i hope she survives this one down.

a holiday feast

2011-11-29T12:10:00.000-08:00

inspired by jandee, i embarked on a (hopefully) new tradition for the holiday season. as thanksgiving approached i was watching the commercials and hype of the holidays. and as much as i can scoff and worry about how "everyone" else is celebrating with shopping, giving and going into debt, i thought more about what i really think about for the holidays.

can you guess what it was? at first it was my children and family and what to give them for christmas that they would enjoy. and second, food. yes...food. i thought about making the perfect batch of toffee and grannie's sugar cookie recipe. i dreamt about dove chocolate squares in my stocking and warm hot cocoa and cinnamon rolls at my mom and dad's.

this year i wanted it to be different. i wanted to focus my holiday celebration on the real reason of the season. the birth and life of the Savior Jesus Christ. starting thanksgiving day i began an accelerated reading of the Book of Mormon. at about 18 pages a day i can finish on christmas day. i thought this was a crazy undertaking, but from jandee's advice i did it. and although i am early on in the game, only day 6 of 30. i sit down at night after everyone is in bed, turn on the christmas music and read it like a real book. not like "i have to read my scriptures every day" kind of thing. but a "curled up in a warm blanket on the couch devouring the writing" kind of book. i have to write what a difference it already has made in my life. for all the times i've read this book, i've never focused just on the Savior. i can't tell you how much i have already learned about His life, His purpose and His will for us on this earth, and i'm not even to 100 pages yet.

i just want my kids to read this someday and be inspired to do the same thing. it has already filled my heart with joy and purpose in just these few days that i feel as though it might overflow. what a perfect holiday feast.

diy paralysis

2011-11-27T16:23:00.000-08:00

when i get an idea on what i want for our house, i then look up how to do it by myself (or better yet, look up how ty can make it by himself). but then something happens when it comes to actually doing something: i get paralyzed. i want it to be so perfect/unique/me/different but cute that i don't do anything. so i have idea after idea after idea and.....drum roll please...no execution. bare walls. no wallpaper. no picture frames. nothing.

so a little while ago, i decided it it is better to have SOMETHING made other than NOTHING made. does it have to be totally unique/pinterest worthy? no. does it have to work and look semi nice? yes.

and so, i was brave and ordered vinyl from a dear friend kathryn (thanks!) to kick start some projects and have had so much fun making my house a home. my goal this year is a place for everything and everything in its place.

and so on wednesday, instead of cleaning the kitchen to get ready to make pies, i found a scrap of wood, painted it, sanded it, screwed in hooks and made a coat rack for the kids. and guess what? they love it! they are so proud of their little names and hooks and take so much care to put up their coats and shoes. and it has blessed a small little corner of our home. it is not perfect in any sense of the word, but my kids and home are happier because of it. and what's not good about that?

just call us the griswolds

2011-11-26T14:11:00.000-08:00

yesterday we attempted to solidify a family tradition. i say attempt, because we have done this 2 other times before, but purchased trees other years, blah blah blah. this year was the year where it is tradition: the day after christmas the leavitt family packs up the car and kids and heads into the mountains to cut down the tree. *helpful hint* if the tree looks really, really, really small in the wilderness, it might, just might fit into your living room. seriously, this thing is huge.

now, we had a really fun time all together and ty and i realized that we are getting used to this parenting thing because we had a really fun time despite the following things happening:

the oldest child car sick after 20 min, crying to go home
5 min after oldest stops crying, the 2 year old lets out a toot that leaves us questioning whether it is just a toot or a changer
after 30 min of driving we pull over to get the car sickies gone
10 min later the two oldest are sick again and asking when we will get there
stop for lunch, feed the birds, nurse the baby, take 3 potty trips while stopped, change a diaper,2 year old face plants into her ranch packet
get back in the car, head to blm office and then up mountain
find a place to cut a tree dad style. which means, up a rocky cliff full of obstacles my children can impale themselves on.
find tree
wait for daddy to climb back up mountain to cut it, play "i spy" and sing christmas carols while you oldest rolls her eyes at you
hike back to car holding 2 year old and 20lb 5 month old at the same time
try and take 4 year old to the bathroom, unsuccessfully
play in dirt while daddy ties tree to car
take a family picture
drive home
stop to let the whining kids play, change 2 diapers, successfully teach 4 year old to go outside, take pictures, get in car
car has flat
sit and watch daddy change the flat
head home and set up tree

the best quote of the day was from our oldest while hiking down the mountain, "wouldn't this be cool if it was a ride at Disneyland?" at first i felt like i had failed as a parent, but then i realized, she thought it was fun and held onto the one positive nugget.

i swear i don't teach them how to pose

we saw a beautiful blue heron on the way home, and a golden eagle

if you have any family traditions, i beg you to go call your parents and tell them thank you. because it's a whole heck of a lot easier to just stay at home. it really was a great way to start off the holidays.

just another tuesday

2011-11-23T06:24:00.000-08:00

wake up with rodney, 6am! bring him into room while you fold laundry
breakfast, music homework, make lunches, hair, dress
put baby down for nap
bus
dishes
chase phoebe down, dress her and change diaper (it's a poopy one, that's why she's hiding)
get ready for joy school
rodney wakes up
joy school
put rodney down for another nap
hang out with joshlyn and her kids for lunchtime
clean up, put phoebe and abby down for naps
play with rodney, read, try and clean
put rodney down for 3rd nap
fold laundry
work on zumba routines
lucy home from school
homework, play, put on sense and sensibility for the girls
talk to sarah on the phone while you clean the girls' room
dinner. it's german pancakes since daddy is gone hunting...again
bathe, dress, nurse rodney to sleep
come out from putting rodney down to find phoebe drinking out of the syrup bottle
bathe, dress, read to girls
put in bed
put abby and lucy back to bed
put abby and lucy back to bed again
zumba
watch tv and bake two apple pies
shower while they bake
finish watching a tv show, put pies on cooling racks
go to bed
nurse rodney
wake up to a crying someone. lie in bed trying to decipher who it is. it's phoebe and it sounds like a throwup cry.
it's throwup (she obviously doesn't chew her pomegranates)
put phoebe in bath, strip down bed, spray, launder, wipe down crib
new pj's, rock for a few minutes, lay her down with new bedding (a blanket just in case she pukes again)
go back to bed
nurse rodney
sleep for a bit
wake up with rodney, 6am! blog while he plays on the ground witha teething ring

rinse and repeat

2011-11-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

"We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in number, wealth and power as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand, which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us. It has seemed to me fit and proper that God should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November as a day of Thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens."

-Abraham Lincoln - October 3, 1863

bff's

2011-11-20T06:21:00.000-08:00


RODNEY LEAVITT AND TY TERRIL 11/11/11

all i can think about when i see this picture is "fat man in a little coat...fat man in a little coat!"

rodney and ty terril are 6 weeks apart.

their dads are best friends.

their dads were born 5 weeks apart.

their mommies really like each other too. so the plan to make them bff's is solid.

you see, tyson and mike were little trouble makers growing up.

baptized same day.

became eagle scouts the same day.

missions. marriage. daughters...and now they each have a son!

i don't think we could have planned it better if we tried.

danielle and i both know these two little dudes were meant to come when they did.

they've both got some important shoes to fill in the years ahead.

hooray for friends. now if they just lived a little closer...

apparently i was doing everything wrong. go me!

2011-11-17T15:11:00.000-08:00

so remember how i mentioned that rodney wasn't sleeping really well? long story short, he wasn't napping longer than a half hour (if that long at all). i would have to lay him down asleep and pray that he wouldn't wake up when i shut the door. he was eating every 2 hours at night. ack! top it all off i couldn't find my sleep bible. i've been looking for a month now as i knew that sleep training was due. so, rewind two days ago and i find the book. place it in the bathroom (only place i can have some peace and quiet).

turns out, i was doing everything wrong. what? after 3 kids you'd think i would remember how to put a baby down to bed. nope. granted, a bout of bronchiolitis and an ear infection kind of threw us out of whack. but really? total goof up over here.

yesterday i thought i'd give it a go since i was feeling confident. i put rodney to bed just an hour after waking up in the morning, which means he was only awake for 40 minutes before i started soothing him to sleep. and guess what? he slept for an hour and a half! and he woke up happy! and he only woke up ONE TIME LAST NIGHT. what?! this morning i could see a light at the end of the tunnel and i called the mental insitution and canceled my reservation. yay for sleeping rodney! two thumbs up! we're going to make it!

give thanks

2011-11-15T07:01:00.000-08:00

for all that you have

for your health, your body, your mind

for your family

for your friends

for your life

for your ancestors

for your home, your clothing, your light, your heat, your food

for the freedom to worship where and how you wish

for everything that you've been given in this world.

don't skip out on giving thanks.

because Thanksgiving really IS something to celebrate.

that is all.

this and that

2011-11-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

hello little blog. do you miss me? i miss you. now that the captain is sleeping more, and he sleeps in the office with the computer, blogging and internet usage is at a minimum. want to buy us an ipad for christmas? anyways, here is what we've been up to.

a few saturdays ago ty rented a lift from the hardware store to trim our trees. he and his grandpa adams worked all day long on our trees. we have lots of trees on our property (what a blessing, but a lot of work), 25 of them are cottonwoods with dead limbs. so from 8am to 6pm they cut and cut and cut. ty has been spending the last 2 weeks every night after work hauling the limbs off the property. i love that man.

grandpa adams was the "operator"

saturdays' are big work days here at the house. so any trips without kids has to be prearranged. friday night i told tyson, "all i need to do tomorrow is go to the thrift store". i had a feeling i would score something good. and score i did! look at what i purchased:

one brand new couch, 3 dining chairs in great condition, 1 dish set, 2 unique plates, 4 silver plated serving trays, 1 glass serving tray. all in 20 minutes. i'm totally hooked on thrift store deals.

our good friends mike and danielle terril stopped by for a visit saturday night. danielle and i had a great time talking about how hard it is to raise little souls, while mike and ty planted our two desert willow trees. it was so cute i tried to take a picture. ty was driving the backhoe, mike was holding his baby and spraying wiht the hose, and eddy was protecting everyone from the mechanical monster (he tries to bite the bucket).

we had a nice relaxing sunday, which is a blessing after all that hard saturday work. ty fed rodney while i got ready for church, and it was so cute i had to get a picture. the captain's like, "dude, put the camera down mom and let me eat!" rodney is eating cereal twice a day now and is sleeping a "little" better. i would like to request he sleep a "lot" better.

other than the previous things we had a great 4 day weekend. veteran's day parade with chandra, our wonderful babysitter all day friday so i could get stuff done, date night friday with the captain tagging along. catching up with old friends at a beautiful wedding reception. native american day at the museum. we've had a wonderful week.

new goal

2011-11-09T06:53:00.000-08:00

i cannot get on pinterest until the house is clean.

i cannot get on pinterest until the house is clean.

i cannot get on pinterest until the house is clean.

i may never be on there again.

see if you can beat this

2011-11-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

saturday we had the annual pomegranate festival in our town. it is so fun! i love all the booths, and usually pick up some christmas gifts there, along with jars of jelly to support the art guild. some of the booths, ah! especially the really tacky ones. like, yes! i totally need NY jets throw pillows and a king size comforter! where have you been all my life?

but i digress. so i'm at the festival with all four children (what was i thinking?), alone, and we had had a pretty succesful outing. we almost lost phoebe in the food crowds, but didn't. we completed a craft with only one person crying and i let them all pick out a new hair bow (you've got to see abby's!). so we are walking out of the Fine Arts building and i run into my high school english teacher, he asks "so, did you buy all these (my kids) by the pomegranates?" i responded with a chuckle and started to say, " nope! they're all mine!" when i looked back and phoebe was gone. lucy, abby, rodney...no phoebe. "oh!" i gasped to him. "I'm missing one!" and ran away. frantic, frantic, frantic! i run back into the building, run back to my friend that i had been talking to and gasp, "rebecca! have you seen phoebe? she's gone!"

she looks at me, touches my arm and says, "you're holding her".

i am not even making this up.

i seriously need to get some real sleep.

here's a picture of the "no sleep" culprit. good thing he's cute.

30

2011-11-04T13:12:00.000-07:00

i want to remember what it was like when i turned 30. i still can't believe it, although i must say i've always looked forward to my 30's. my mom always told me, "thirties are wonderful. you care more about what really matters, and less about what doesn't". sounds good to me.

1. i woke up that morning tired (status quo) and scrambling to get lucy out the door. she started to argue with me and i said, "i'm not arguing with you on my birthday". end of story.
2. the morning was not going well. screaming kids, messy house, not sleeping baby. i finally got rodney to sleep and my friend called me, "hey, bring your kids to the park, now!" so i did, and there waiting for me was a surprise birthday breakfast with lots of lovely friends. totally made my day. i couldn't ask for better friends.
3. i feel totally overwhelmed, like, everyday. i told my mom, "you know, i should have written everything down when i had 2 kids, because i knew what i was doing back then". seriously, no clue what i'm doing. at.all.
4. i'm very grateful for my life, my husband, my 4 beautiful children, my cozy house, and lately, my electric blanket. it's cold here!
5. i'm very, very, very blessed to have my Faith and my church.
6. i can't keep a clean house. i need to go to rehab for messy people. ah! drives me nutsos.
7. i love to dance, and zumba is keeping me sane. i haven't started running yet (i worry about milk supply), but zumba and pilates is finally starting to make a difference.
8. 5 out of my 6 siblings called me for my birthday, and the other one facebooked me. world record!
9. i worry about parenting on an hourly basis. it's hard to not fear all the mistakes i've made, and use my faith to keep trying and learning new things.
10. i'm a lot less judgemental about other people. that's the blessing of lots of kids, you don't ahve time to worry about anyone else. but. i'm still pretty judgemental when it comes to people choosing to mess up their lives. doing drugs and other crap that is stupid drives me insane.maybe in my 40's it won't bother me as much.
11. rodney sucked out my reading mojo. besides my scriptures, i've only read 1 book in 4 months. gasp. horror! it was a good one though. thanks joshlyn!
12. speaking of rodney, i am totally and completely gaga over him. i told ty, "i hope you know i have a new boyfriend". it wasn't a surprise to ty, he sees me making out with rodney everyday. you think i'm exaggerating, but i'm not. he's got the softest most kissable cheeks and neck rolls in the world.
13. he eats, a LOT. and is totally spoiled. his sickness turned him into a "i will only nurse to sleep and must be held all hours of the day" kind of baby. sleep training is coming soon, heaven help me.
14. on my birthday he had his first cereal. my goodness that boy! by the last bite he was grabbing my hand and shoving the spoon into his mouth. guess i waited a little too long.
15. i'm kind of sad that he's eating cereal now, they just grow up too fast.
16. speaking of babies, i had the most vivid dream last night. i birthed another boy right in our living room. not on purpose of course, my water broke and i had it right then and there. let me tell you, this dream was so real, the pressure! the pushing! i forgot how much work it is to deliver a baby. i felt so guilty for having another baby that i scrubbed the floor by myself instead of nursing the baby. weirdest dream EVER.
17. i am really struggling with meals lately. i used to be really awesome at dinner time. good, healthy, different meals. and now it's 5pm and i'm like, "oh snap, i have to feed everyone again?"
18. ty really did me a solid this year and bought me pie! i love pie and i totally pigged out. poor rodney is still suffering.
19. speaking of ty, he asked me what i wanted for my birthday, and i said, "finish the laundry room!" i'm so excited to get it done, since everyone can see it when they come into our kitchen. it's a walkway to the bedrooms.
20. we live in a small town, and i mean smaaallll. which i absolutely love. ty and i really give an effort to support the local businesses. which is hard considering everything is less expensive in town, but we keep really trying.
21. i've recently had some competition as a zumba instructor (remember, small town). at first i was so excited to be able to go to someone else's class on my day off. but no bueno, their classes are right before mine, or right at dinner time. the plus side of it all is that it has upped my game. new songs, new routines, new sound system. don't mess with my competitive side because i tend to bring it. hahaha, i sound awful.
22. i still want to play the piano better, and someday learn to play the guitar.
23. ty and i can't wait till our kids are old enough to go camping again. it's been hard to miss 2 summers in a row.
24. i've found that i'm so tired i am repeat story teller. you know, i'll tell you the same story multiple times. i'm also so tired that, well, i can't even think of good examples that's how tired i am.
25. i like to clean with an apron on. i have a pocket for all of the hair clippies, rubber bands, a phone. it makes me feel more productive too.
26. i just realized i can't even think of 30 things about me and i'm talking about my kids a lot.
27. so pinterest, i'm pretty sure i spend hours on that thing (insert messy house) and will only do .00002% of the projects/recipes i find.
28. this birthday was the best one i've had in a while. no sick kids. 2 parties. woohoo!
29. my roses are doing very well, thanks to my mom the rose expert. need to plant more next spring.
30. i'm just happy to be me. i'm quirky and loud and spontaneous and i love to have fun. i love making my house better and playing with my kids. i love making new friends and learning about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. i'm a mother of four, a wife, a dancer, a writer and a mormon. (i just made my own mormonad!)

boo boo boo (exlamation mark)

2011-11-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

despite the lack of blogging, we are all alive here at the leavitt household. barely. we have sickness after sickness after sickness. but enough whining, let's talk about halloween. i love halloween because it is in the fall, my favorite season of all. i love the smell of autumn and the crisp air that comes through our windows at night. i love that i haven't had to run our a/c unit for 3 weeks. our house was decorated and we had a fabulous time, despite a sick 2 year old with a raging ear infection. again, no more complaining, we attempted to get pictures of all of them in costumes, and phoebe ended up staying in it and even went trick or treating with us. which is good, because i really didn't want to stay home alone with sick kids again. that stinks like rotten eggs.

tinkerbell and a white rabbit (we totally forgot abby's wings and she didn't even care!)

pictures do not do rodney justice. he was so stinking cute as a skunk! pun intended.

fancy nancy, tink, skunk, bunny

i love this picture

we actually ended up having an awesome night with "real" trick or treating with kids wandering around the streets at night and happy people smiling at the costumes and handing out candy (i'm so done with community trunk or treats), and lots of visits to grandparents' houses.

and now it's all over and i'm working on putting up thanksgiving decor (which i barely have any of) and dreaming about baking pies.

thrifty and thirty

2011-10-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

i bought these when i saw them on cup of jo. i think i liked them, but i mainly just loved them because they are from england. i guess i'm an anglophile. so fast forward 2 years later, yes 2, and i made a trip to the local thrift store. i knew that i would find something special that day, and find i did. this huge frame with perfect glass for $5. five dolares? what? i know, it was insane. i kind of love how the old people don't realize how much stuff is worth (woops!). i also purchased an awesome mid century samsonite suitcase set for $4. four! (lots of exlamation marks in this post apparently)

so i spent all of the craftiness i had in me and put together this collage, and i might have found another frame for $7 and am making another one. ok, i am! anyways, i feel so proud after creating something. it doesn't happen often around here. unless you count creating children, cuz that seems to happen a lot.

anyhoos, i've had a great week that started off with a surprise visit from my sisters! it made everything great and was the best pre-30 birthday present i could ever get.

yes, you heard that right, i am turning 30 in the next 7 days.

that sounds weird, thirty. thirty. thirty.

(the rocking chair was free and i painted that in march. crafty again!)

intervention

2011-10-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

in an effort to lose the flab, i'm trying to eliminate sweets from our house. it's pretty easy to just not buy them (it keeps me closer to our food budget) but tyson currently has a box of chocolate covered almonds from his birthday floating around.

his mission? hide them from me.

i will not tell you how many places i searched for them today after rodney didn't nap for me like usual.

tonight he brought out a few for the girls while we read books. "can i have some?" i asked.

"no, 'cause you'll eat them all!" lucy blurted out.

anyone else need to go to sugarholics anonymous with me?

oh phoebe!

2011-10-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

phoebe's pregnancy was, well, let's just say...difficult. that girl started being bossy from day 1. she was a perfect angel baby and has been a great toddler. but boy oh boy, is she a lot of work! the other day ty commented on how nice the house looked (i had just frantically cleaned it for 10 hours for lucy's party). i said, "well, i can keep it like this, but where do you want phoebe to go and live?"

some funny things she's been saying lately:

"uhhhh happy birdday!" - when she sees a candle
"i no wan doo"- i don't want to
"i dot it! i dot it!"- i got it (whenever the phone rings, or i drop something)
"mean up! mean up! eby body eby bear!" -clean up, clean up everybody everywhere! song
"uhhhhh SCHOOLBUSSSSS!!!!!" - schoolbus
"dama!"- grandma
"dampa!" - grandpa
"ah baby wowey sleepy night night" - rodney fell asleep in the carseat
"i wan some! i wan some!"- i want some! she always say this at the top of her lungs. just open a candy wrapper behind her back. (this is also especially funny at costco sample counters)
"riddit! riddit! riddit!"- hopping around the house like a frog
"ah dump ah dump ah dump ah dump" - jumping like a bunny
"ah munny!"- a bunny
"quick! hide! hide!" whenever i ask her to come here
"hi rocky!" - our neighbor drives by at bus time
"i owa!" - pick me up
"ah daddy HOME!!!!"- daddy's home. also said at the top of her lungs
"dickers!" - stickers
"i ah painted nails!" - let's paint nails

as my mom says, phoebe is "her own woman"

lucky number 7

2011-10-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

7 years ago a beautiful baby girl turned us into parents

she hasn't stopped being full of energy and enthusiasm...for everything

and the party was the best. lots of family and fun.

happy birthday lucy!

we love you and your energy that you live life with.

silver and gold

2011-10-18T14:03:00.000-07:00

luke and liam are lego experts!

wednesday night my cousin stephanie called during their move from Phoenix. "where can we eat in mesquite?" she asked. "well, where are you?" i asked. " "we are just passing vegas." they have 3 boys the same age almost as our 3 girls. "just come here for dinner!" i pleaded. yes, i had had a crazy day. we had just returned from disneyland at midnight that morning. my house was a wreck. i had commitments that evening. but we usually only see them once a year, so i jumped on the opportunity. and oh! it was wonderful. i even got them to stay the night! the kids played till 10:30pm, laughing and giggling and having a grand time. we stayed up talking and laughing and it was just like we were college roommates again. even though it was absolutely crazy, i'm so grateful for these moments of friendship.

i believe that the Lord blesses us when we do what is right. although i have led a far from perfect life, i have tried, and sometimes struggled very hard to make the correct choices. usually they are small and seemingly insignificant choices, that have added up over the years to make up the course of my life. how do i know they were right? because of the peace that i live with, and the blessings in return.

i think the Lord has chosen to bless me with friends. i am so grateful for all of them. from my childhood friends that i rode banana bikes with, my best girlfriends from high school, my bosom friends of college years, my many friends i've made from neighbors, church, work, family and even blogging friends. i don't know what exactly i've done to deserve all of them, but i treasure each & every one of them. and they all have blessed my life. what a rich fullfilling world to be surrounded with friends.

if you are reading this, and you think i'm talking about you, i am.

so thanks!

4 months

2011-10-14T14:51:00.000-07:00

and he finally found his feet.

blowing spit bubbles is his favorite past time...well, behind drinking bosom soup.

in case you were wondering, yes, he is ginormous.

now is that not his daddy's smile or what?

i love this little dude. i'd love him even more if he didn't drool through 5 bibs a day.

but as my mother always says, beggars can't be choosers.

beep beep

2011-10-14T07:30:00.000-07:00

that is the sound the road runner makes as he wizzes past wylie coyote.

i feel like i'm wylie and my life is the roadrunner. i just can't catch up.

and so, thanks to my camera, here is our trip in pictures.

more words to come later when i've slept longer than 3 hours in a row.

yes, disneyland. we went. we saw. it kicked my trash.

the two oldest had a blast with all their aunts, uncles and cousins.

it really was neat to be there all together again.

phoebe enjoyed the first 2 hours. and that was all.

abby soaked it all in while lucy turned into an ocd rideaholic

of all the attractions at disneyland, the ducks were phoebe's favorite.

the parade was my favorite part. great dancing. great music. and the girls almost peed their pants in excitement.

little hot rod and i spent a lot of time in the hotel room nursing. he's awesome.

riding the train

the one and only picture of moi

meeting the princesses. phoebe did love this part, and i loved how she gooed up all their dresses with peanut butter and boogies. hilarious!

best. picture. ever.

seen and heard

2011-10-07T08:24:00.000-07:00

"wow mom, you look really nice today, different than other days" -lucy

"oh, and how do i usually look?"

"you always look scary"- lucy

at zumba,

"is your husband back yet?" (from hunting)

"yes!"- me

"did you miss him?"

"um, how many years have you been married?" -me

"14"

"then would you understand if i said "no"?" -me

all of us "hahahahahahahahaha"

answer the phone on a saturday afternoon, it's my brother bill:

"hey!"-me

"hey. what's up"- bill

"nothing, what are you doing?" (kids screaching and running around me)-me

"wait, where are you, chuck e' cheese?" -bill

"nope, this is just what our house sounds like"-me

many ways i've had to finish a phone call now that i'm a mom:

"oh sarah, i've got to go, phoebe's eating sunscreen"

"eddie! NO! eddie! NO! come back! crap, i got to go"

"phoebe, please don't pick that up, phoebe! phoebe! can i call you back?"

"wait! is that poop? ugh! put it down! oh, can i call you back?"

*via pinterest

in a blog funk and i just don't care

2011-10-05T07:26:00.000-07:00

*abby took this photo

lately i've had a lot of things on my mind. and there are more than a few things taking up my time other than writing.

pinterest. you heard me, i finally caught up with the craze. gone are the days of clipping out magazine pages and gluing them in a notebook. i'm addicted i tell you.
foyle's war. my parents finally got me to borrow it to get me through my single mom days of hunting season. i love it and i highly recommend it (if you enjoy world war II history, which i do)
general conference. twice a year my church has a conference where we get direction from our Prophet and leaders. we believe in modern day revelation, and their words are like salve for my soul. i felt like my Heavenly Father was personally speaking to me. my favorite talks so far were this one and ESPECIALLY this one. i put the talks on my ipod and listen to them when i clean. for 6 months i'm amazed at how much just a few minutes can help me relax and reprioritize my life.
improving myself. i've find with 4 kids that my weaknesses are magnified by 1,000%. so the fact that i'm not very organized, and we don't communicate our schedules just doesn't cut it anymore. so far i have on my "learn to be better at list" is:

keep a clean house. not a "perfect" house, but not a pig sty. which mine currently is.
keep a clean car. somehow, somewhere in parenthood years my car turned into the family trash can.
send out thank you and birthday cards. seriously, every day i say i'm going to do this and i don't. and then i think about you all day long about your birthday and all the fond memories i have. like i don't have 2 minutes to send a card. i do!
eliminate emotional eating. you mom's know exactly what i'm talking about. i'm really tired of only fitting into 4 outfits.

i found the perfect, portable sound system for zumba. now i just need lots of $$$$ to pay for it. i'm currently thinking up a fun ZUMBA! fundraiser for it. so yes, you should come.
prayer. i find i'm so tired my prayers are all mumbo jumbo. i want to be more specific and sincere.
sticking to our grocery budget. now when i finally get there i have a babysitter watching the kids and i'm all crazy fast like and well, impulse buys are what kill me.

what are you currently working on right now?

nothing to say

2011-10-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

autumn is here. it is raining and drizzly and wet wet wet.

that is the 2 days of autumn we get.

plan b

2011-09-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

daddy and his kiddos- sept 25th 2011

last night we went out to celebrate tyson's birthday. the big one! more on that later. after we came home, drove home the babysitter (thanks jenni!) and cleaned up. we heard phoebe crying. ty checks on her, and she's covered in vomit. this is where i remind myself that she ate an entire bowlfull of frozen berries for a snack earlier.

you guys, she threw up the entire night. usually an episode of the pukes averages 2 upchuckages and a lot of feverish shakes, a nice warm bath to get the vomit out of the hair and neck rolls and then back to bed.

not last night. she threw up 6 times in 24 hours. 6!

and to top it off my husband just left on a weeklong hunt. i'm not even kidding you. i told him, "you're birthday present this year is that i am letting you live." (thanks joshlyn!)

so, when things get really tough like this. like having pukey whiny kids with no husband around (angels must hover over single moms) i start fantasizing about my 'plan b'. i can't believe i'm writing this down, i've only told my sister sarah this.

so, plan b is actually more like a getaway today plan. the main goal is to get appendicitis and go to the hospital for 2 days. no laundry. no dishes. no sick kids. all the pudding i can eat and a slave at the push of a button. now you know you are tired when a stay at the hospital sounds like absolute, pure, heaven. am i the only mom who has dreamt up stuff like this? please tell me i'm not crazy (because i worry i'm crazy about 100 times a day)

so here's to making it through the weekend.

*ps* i'm so grateful my friend convinced me to start teaching up zumba again. silly me, i wanted to wait to teach until all the baby weight was gone. it is so nice to get out of the house and exercise again.

get a blog, it makes your life look awesome.

2011-09-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, when I spend some time to look back over my blog I love it. For several different reasons. The main reason is because it is a great journal for what’s going on with the kidlets. But another reason is because it makes my life look better than it ever really is. Seriously, it’s the perfect way to pretend like you have an awesome life. I can see the pictures of our kids and home, the ones that I WANT people to see. Not the real ones. With the diapers lying around everywhere and the piles of dishes in the sink and the bottle soaking on the counter that had 3 day old fermented milk in it. I can recount all the cute and fun things that happen in our life. And with little kids, there are a lot of cute and fun things. But there are also a lot of not fun and not cute things.

For example, I don’t blog about how the kids keep fighting each other all day long and smacking each other with their tone bells mallot. I don't blog about the arguments between husband and wife behind closed doors. I don’t blog about the piles of dirty laundry in the closets and the piles of clean laundry on the beds and couches. Because who wants to remember those things? Not I. I want to remember all the good, add a little embellishment to it and then block out all the crap.

Like this last post about Sundays? I’ve had more than a few remarks about it. “Sundays are the worst!” all the moms say. And it’s true, taking your kids to 3 hours of church every Sunday is not a fun thing in any way shape or form. Especially if you have to do it all.by.yourself. Now, to be clear, this past Sunday was actually quite normal. The kids fought about what to wear and how to do their hair. I had to yell at everyone more than a few times to get to get their scriptures! and get your tights on! We forgot to hand in our tithing, again. We were late and got crappy hard seats in the back. My feet were too fat for my shoes and killing me the entire time. Rodney had to nurse twice in 3 hours. Phoebe was horrible during sacrament meeting and to top it off slammed her fingers in the chapel door. I had to walk around with a crying baby for the majority of the time. I don’t remember one thing that was taught in any of my classes.

But, and this is a tremendously huge but, I was able to take our sacrament and start all over again. And that is what I want to remember. I want to remember watching Ty put Rodney’s tie on. And having the girls tell me happily about what they learned in Primary. Having Phoebe actually go and stay in nursery. I want to remember all the smiling faces and “hellos” that I get each Sunday. Because those are the sweet memories. The ones I hold on to. So when I’m older I can look at all the blog books and think, “man, my life was so wonderful!” and not remember how incredibly difficult it was to manage all these little children 24 hours a day.

So, if your feeling down and out. Start a blog! It will make everyone, and you, think that your life is better than it actually is!

already two

2011-09-27T07:16:00.000-07:00

how did this happen? i turned around and all of a sudden our baby girl turned 2. two!

we woke her up (she never sleeps in) to open her presents before i had to leave for pilates. she was a little groggy and out of it. good thing her sisters took over and opened everything for her.

opening birthday presents complete with bed head and diaper wedgie

it took her a few minutes to figure out what was sitting on the lawn. see her holding her other present? her own comb! she was so excited. (yes, i go very cheap on my kids when they are too little to remember what i gave them. he he)

"HELLO!" she would yell out the windows.
and then open the door, motion her hand and say, "mum in! mum in!"
phoebe spent the majority of her day (minus her 4 hour nap) playing in her new "howus".
*shhh. it's not really new, our friends gave it to us. but phoebe will never know! well, till she reads this.

look at how solemn she was when everyone was singing. she just sat there soaking it in. not even a crack of a smile. this is two seconds before she blew out the candles. then she smiled! she knew exactly what to do. we sure love our little phoebe. she truly is the "Light" of our lives. she didn't even really care about the presents, she just loved having her family over to play and listen to her. she loves all of her family, and we all love her.

i love sundays

2011-09-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

it's like hitting a giant RESET button on my life every week

2011-09-21T22:24:00.000-07:00

we are on day 11 of sick house. just when everyone was feeling better, rodney and i got sick. and he being so little went straight to his lungs. poor little hacking cough dude. sad sad.

in other news, my mom stayed at my house yesterday while the girls napped and i took rodney to the pediatrician & bronchiolitis clinic. doesn't that sound like fun? well apparently the bug man called while i was out to let me know they were coming the next morning. yes, in the desert you HAVE to have a bug man. unless you like having cockroaches in your bathroom, which i don't. so at 9am, i let phoebe come to the door with me looking like this:

good thing our bug man is like family and doesn't mind seeing my kids and house a wreck. how awesome are her pajamas? she picks out her own accessories now and everything.

so thanks for the heads up mom! just kidding, i owe her big time. it is really nice to have family close, but it is also really easy to abuse it. oh! how i worry about abusing it. i don't want them dreading my phone calls. "uh oh, it's annie. she wants to dump her 800 thousand kids on us again".

in other news, i've realized that after 7 years of being a mom, shopping for food and necessities is one of my duties. as in, a regular thing. the food is gone. the toilet paper runs out. i'm starting to notice a pattern! the point of this story is this, i hate shopping. and hate is a bad word at our house. so, how do you do it? how do you schedule in shopping on a regular basis when you loathe and despise it? discuss.

14 weeks tomorrow

2011-09-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

trying to get rodney to smile for the camera

can you believe 14 weeks has passed since little dude arrived? i just can't believe it. it's like our family switched from a 747 to the concord as far as time traveling is concerned. every week flies by like the blink of an eye. but the sleepless nights with 102* fevers and throwups seem to take a decade. that is life though, and we are trying to make the best of it. i find the in the blur of making lunches, driving kids around, managing homework, church callings, laundry, and cleaning up, i am always, always always, holding him. snuggling him. getting him to talk to me. so if you come over and notice the house is a wreck, it's because i'm trying to do everything one handed.

i love my little boy. almost a little too much really, ty's starting to get jealous. i honestly thought when he was born that only the diaper parts would be different. i didn't know how much they capture your heart. i'm totally going to be that mom when he is married. it will be hard to let him go. yes, i'm already thinking about his mission for our church and marriage. i told you i'm crazy about him.

*he just found his fists when he's playing on his back. it's hilarious! all of the sudden he'll freeze, stare at his fist and go "where did that come from? whoah! it's moving now!" ty doesn't think it's half as funny as i do, bleh.

if i told you i was exercising, would you believe me?

2011-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

you can't tell from the outside, but i am moving my body again. i'm using it for more than just to feed, clothed, change, hold a baby/toddler/sick child. it feels so good to wake up and feel sore muscles. muscles! i have muscles!

i started up teaching aerobics 2 weeks ago, and i love, love, love it! i think what i love the most is being with other women. i get out of the house! i get to be me! i get to dance! how is that not a great thing? i finally started my sister in law's pilates class also, and oh! it is wonderful. i've always loved pilates from the first time i had to do it at Ballet West in 1995. i loved the method, the breathing, the control, the pain. every morning i wake up now sore, sore, sore and i love it.

i taught joy school last week and guess what the first lesson was? the joy of the body. how fortuitous. i loved teaching for 4 hours that week how awesome our bodies are and how much they can do. i am so blessed to have a body. a body that can move, and hold still, and love, and nurture. i'm very grateful to be able to carry and birth babies with my body. and i always will be. but it is such a hard rebound for me.

if you are one of those pregnant women who gain, 25 lbs, lose 15 the first two weeks and just have 10 left to lose, than yay for you! (note sarcastic tone)

that is not me.

every pregnancy, the rational side of me jumps out the window and the insulin-resistant devil side takes over. i stop exercising. i eat entire pizzas at 2am. i make my husband get mcdonald's at 10pm after a full dinner at 5. i eat candy bars on the drive home from dr's appointments. it's gross to even think about how much junk i eat. and then, after the smoke clears and i have a beautiful beautiful beautiful 3 month old baby( not disregarding what a miracle it is to carry a child) on a schedule, i'm a lumpy, stillwearingmaternityclothes80%ofthetime mess. and that's when i have to bring out the big guns. exercise! nutrition! sleep! no more mcdonald's! no more junk food in the house!

the kids have noticed, and are complaining like crazy. they are also sick, so they are sick and complaining. funners! there's no food! they cry. i don't want eggs for breakfast! they bemoan. well tough luck there girls, i am on a mission.

i have 30 more lbs to lose. yup, thirty. that sounds like a lot no? it feels like a lot. and it's hard to know that i can't go all out, i have to take it easy and still eat a lot to keep nursing. but it will happen, slowly, surely, probably take 18 months, but it will happen. it's days like this where i want to pay someone when i'm pregnant to shake me and say, "annie! don't eat that entire pie! it's not worth it!" but i probably wouldn't listen to them anyway. and then just eat more because they made me mad. oh, i can't believe i am writing all of this down.

so here i am, starting all over again. regretful of the past, hopeful of the future.

right now my eating plan looks like this:

*banana walnut protein smoothie in the morning (i use sunwarrior protein , no soy! no whey!)
*salad wrap at lunch
*fruit and nuts for snack or a spinach smoothie
*regular dinner with kids and ty
*chocolate protein smoothie at night with ty. we call it the "frostie!" (serves 2)

2 cups milk (i use almond when nursing)

1 banana

1 spoonful adam's peanut butter

1 spoonful cocoa powder

2 scoops sunwarrior protein

a handful of ice

blend and enjoy! we love it with a straw, makes it more of a smoothie experience!

don't come over to our house

2011-09-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

it moved in on saturday. sunday we thought it was gone...nope.
monday morning by 10am, we thought it was gone...nope.
this morning it decided to latch on to other members of the family.

stupid virus. worse house guest ever.

but you can come over once he leaves. we now have 2 nice mattresses for our guest bedroom. are you going to come try them out? we'd love to see you!

but here is a fun clip of roddy talking. isn't he dreamy?
(apologies for my bedroom voice on the video)

one of those days

2011-09-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

so here are a few pictures of little dude to tide me over

12 weeks old!!!!

busy is a four letter word

2011-09-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

i always try and stay off the computer during the day now. but the girls are dancing in here and rodney is chatting away in his crib after a nap.

have i mentioned what a jabberbox he is?

ty and i keep debating on whether or not he is our earliest talker/cooer. ty said no, the girls were just like this. i said no, not until around 4 months. and he's been talking for a month now. i mean, he loves to talk to you and fill you in on his day. it's like he wakes up in the morning and is all, "hello! i'm here!" we went to our good friends' baby blessing and rodney talked all during the ceremony. he was like, "way to go dude! i just got blessed too!" it was perfect.

so yeah, rodney talks a lot.

and we are still limping through this "back to school phase".

everyday i feel like my life is so busy. so busy. so busy. but i know i'll read this in 10 years and just laugh my butt off. you thought that was busy? ha!

*i have the best video of him talking and cannot get it on here. blast. someone help me out here.

ty took this on his labor day hike with mike.

forty seven

2011-09-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

today was my parents 47th anniversary. 

i was a total dweeb and asked them to babysit our kids so we could go to a baby blessing. i can't believe i forgot and they did that for me on their special day. tomorrow they said they are celebrating by doing nothing! sounds like heaven to me. they both work so hard all week long and they deserve it. 

i am so grateful that they have worked so hard to make a wonderful marriage and family.

happy anniversary!

back to school jitters

2011-08-31T14:24:00.000-07:00

lucy was so excited to go back to school. poor girl was bored to tears with her lazy mother.

we had a major breakthrough with shopping this year. we didn't have to do any! well, i promised her a new lunchbox. and she looked at all the tacky, sparkly, ostentatious ones very longingly. i picked up a nice one and said, "ooh, this one is really nice" (my vocabulary rocks) and put it down. because as lucy's mom, anything i say is "nice" she will automatically despise. not this time. she picked it!
i was so proud. take that justin beiber.

i let abby pick out a lunchbox too, since i thought making all the lunches the night before would take a little work out of the next day. i let her have free range with the choices because, well, she's been having major middle child syndrome. when she saw this one, her eyes lit up and i could see the wheels turning in her head, "kittens! sparkles! pink!" it was destiny. ty called that night and i said, "you are not going to believe abby's lunch box. it is so dolores umbridge".

my mom says don't ever let your kids run around scraggly.

i am severely lacking in this department with phoebe.

phoebe bawled when lucy got on the bus. abby kicked some rocks on the walk home in sadness. the two girls spent the next 2 hours fighting over who was alpha now that lucy was gone. i sat and nursed a fussy baby the rest of the day. it's been hard getting back on a strict schedule after an entire summer of "sleeping when the baby sleeps". which really means, "i'm in pajamas until 10 am." but routines are good. routines are needed. routines get us out of our pajamas.

and that's pretty hard to do these days.

i love my kids. i love my kids. i love my kids?

2011-08-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

the other day i had to move 4 carseats around (four!) in 116* heat in the car. tyson's grandma offered to help, and i said "no, i've got it." and while i heaved hoed another one in and fussed with the latches i thought, "someday i will never have any car seats to move around or put kids into!!!!!!" hooray!

and as awesome as that thought is (because car seats are probably one of the biggest contraceptive reinforcers), i know that i will feel sad knowing that my babies are grown.

while holding and rocking a fussy baby in church today i thought about my other children. this weekend to california was such a blessing in so many ways for me. it was refreshing to get out of the house and laundry and dishes and "to-do's" and just spend time with my kids. i took showers and baths with them after swimming and they loved it (in my swimsuit of course). i sat in the back seat of the car with them playing games and oohing and ahhhing over the scenery. we played on the beach together and swam together. we walked together. we talked together. and i fell in love with my kids all over again.

my kids crawl all over me day and night. they LOVE for me to play with them, listen to them, hug them. we could read books all day long snuggled up on the couch. or lie together and watch movies and eat popcorn. they want so much of me. and that's the dilemma as a young mom, you wake up knowing these little beings need 100% of you all day long. and it's completely draining.

how would you feel if your co-workers could not acocmplish 90% of their taks without your help and/or approval? add in the fact that each one has to tap or touch you 800 times a day and one of them just learned knock knock jokes and you can see how it gets a little annoying. what? children annoying? (this is starting to sound like a confessional). but near the end of the day you find yourself avoiding them by going to the "bathroom" when you're actually just reading the latest Real Simple. your skin crawls when they latch onto you yelling "mom!mom!mom! look at this bug!" just after you wiped up puke and poop in the last 5 minutes. yes, somedays you just can't even stand them all needing needing needing you (i think this is more true when you have a cute newborn to hold) little kids are just so needy. but the trade off is, they love you heart and soul. they WANT you. you. you. you.

and someday soon they won't want me. they won't say funny words and perform 30 minute dance shows for me. they won't sing while they go potty (hopefully) and ask me to pretty please braid their hair like their cousin's. they won't want me to play dollies with them or help them make their beds. they won't like the music i listen to in the car or want to go on walks to count how many bunnies we can see. they won't want to go to the "resemoir" with us or hold my hand in public. my life as a parent will be challenging in a different way. i will want to be involved in everything in their lives, every day. and it will drive them bonkers.

maybe it's because school starts tomorrow and i had to pack lucy's lunch.
or maybe it's because my baby boy won't stop growing.
or maybe it's because phoebe is learning new words by the minute.
or maybe it's because abby is itching to start school someday.

but i love my little, little children that need me so very much.
and even though i'm not even close to being the perfect mom,
i know that these days are fleeting
and i'm going to try and cherish them even more.

greetings from sunny california

2011-08-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

on tuesday we decided to leave hot hot hot nevada and go see my sister danna in california

when i say me, i mean me, my four children (FOUR) and my gracious mother.

all day wednesday i tried to pack and clean. and all day wednesday i thought, "why am i doing this? this is so stupid!" actually, the same things i said during natural childbirth.   it just was so hard to pack and pack and pack, for only 3 nights and 3 days.

when we reached primm, nevada i was ready to turn around. "this is just not worth it" i told my mom. but we kept going. luckily, 2 hours into the drive, all the children were asleep and we cruised all the way to highland. we pulled in at 11pm and conked out.

let me just say this, it has been so wonderful. wonderful to get out of the house. wonderful to watch the girls light up at the sight of the beach. the stores! the palm trees everywhere!  while driving around lucy said, "where we live is ugly!"  which reminds me to teach her there is a difference between "ugly" and "different".

we have another day full of swimming and sun.

and yesterday, it was 75* at the beach. SEVENTY FIVE DEGREES!

the girls stepped out of the car and said, "oooh! it's cold!"

that was worth the entire trip 

one week

2011-08-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

we have exactly seven days till the school year begins. and if it's anything like last year, it will be over before i can blink.

i feel like my life launched into warp speed with this baby. next monday is the first day of school, then we have full on birthdays and holidays till January. after a few months of recovering from that, and usually battling illnesses for a few weeks, it's the end of the school year and the baby will be one. one!

we have lived in our house a year and two months now. and that just flew by without me even knowing it. for all the we have accomplished, we have a long list of more projects. we are learning to love the process though, and are very grateful for our home.

for now, i love walking into our living room and seeing my curtains that i made, my fun throw pillows that i don't ever want you to look too closely at, and my rooster from aunt nancy. the picture on the wall is a magnolia, one of my favorite trees, the vase is from a dear friend, and tyson purchased the bloch painting for our anniversary. i love this little corner of my house, and not just because it's always clean because the kids don't play in here. ha!

ty and i laugh because besides the table he made me, we have been given every piece of furniture either by kindness, luck, charity, or from a dumpster. for reals, i literally pulled that lamp out of a trash can. so here's for frugal living! hip hip hoorah! hip hip hoorah! hip hip ican'twaittosomedaybuythatethanallencouchforinhere!

no post title

2011-08-19T08:26:00.000-07:00

i read a quick part of a quote at a family party a few weeks ago (did that make any sense?) and the gist of it was, don't talk about the bad things in your life. talk about the good. now i need to get the real quote and put it on here.

so for this weekend i'll share a few things and try to focus on the good (i said try):

-i tried to teach 4 zumba songs in a row yesterday to my little church girls i work with. they've been begging me for months to do it and i was excited to try since i'ved planned to start teaching in 2 weeks. yikes! so, yeah, 4 songs. long story short, i almost died. i was sweating so much my skin almost just slipped off of my body. it felt so weird too, when i was trying to dance. i felt like a jigsaw puzzle that was put together by abby. all the pieces are put back where they started, but they're too tight in some places and lumpy and overlapping in others.

-swimming lessons ended yesterday. we did not go on any vacations this summer (is it me, or did everyone go to bear lake?). we did not travel to see any family. we didn't go into town to swim or shop. we didn't really do anything. so the girls had swimming lessons the entire summer. i honestly didn't care if they were learning to swim or learning the hokey pokey. they loved their teachers! they were happy! they looked forward to it all day long! they slept like rocks! and guess what happened? they did learn how to swim and that makes me pretty happy.

-we had one of the 12 apostles of our church come to our church conference this weekend. we thought we arrived a half hour early on sunday, but it was really an entire hour early! i was worried the girls would have meltdowns, but they did great. i told them how proud i was of them for being so quiet. i ignored the fact that they bounced around like energizer bunnies for 3 hours. it was an amazing opportunity to listen to an Apostle in person. afterwards i wanted to talk to his wife and tell her i lived with her nieces in college, but it was just too crowded up there. i'm glad so many people got to meet them in person.

-lucy has her teacher for 1st grade in is ready to go but i don't know if i am. i know that school is what she needs, but it will be all day long! (and this is where the families with all day kindergarten tell me to suck it up).we eat early and go to be early around here, so it feels like her free time is going to be cut big time between homework and chores.

-this baby sucked all of my mojo out of me. i realized yesterday that i am probably the most boring person on the planet. seriously. my life consists of trying to take care of the girls, nurse the chubs all day long, pick up the house (fail) and cook a dinner. after 8pm when everyone is in bed, even rodney, i collapse on the couch. i turn on the boob tube, watch for around an hour and then shuffle into bed. no dishes, no clean up, no talking, no reading. i literally collapse at the end of every day. the next morning i wake up to an absolutely disgusting house and start all over again. i won't even begin to tell you how much tv my kids are still watching.

-on a funnier note, phoebe likes to jump in her crib once she wakes up. she gets some pretty sweet air too. yesterday i opened the door and asked, "and what are you doing little girl!?" and she says in the cutest voice ever, "I'M DUMPING ON DA BED!"

it's like someone slipped super bloom into his milk

2011-08-15T15:18:00.000-07:00

i've been in denial the past few weeks. i just couldn't bring myself to put together all the clues of what was happening. i was sure that the onesies were "weird sizes" and that's why his 3-6 month outfits were hard to snap. and i ignored the massive thighs that size 2 diapers just aren't quite covering anymore. or the two legs sprawling over my lap while he nurses. but yesterday at church i looked at his huge feet at the end of the car seat. THE END! i have to computer scream that at you because i just couldn't believe it. i leaned over at ty and said, "look at his feet. they are at the edge of the car seat already!" this usually took around 4-5 months for the girls.

and then, i could deny it no longer after our appointment this morning. this boy is huge. and i quote my dr "that is one big boy." 13lbs, 5 oz and 24" long. that's 85% for weight and 100% for height! what happened to my dainty little girl babies? ty thinks it's "so cool" that's he big and burly while i'm weeping in the corner and eating a ding dong in mourning.

there is no more newborn baby here at our house. he's a full grown monkey child.

oh! and you have to see him in person, he has the most gorgeous olive complexion and dark brown hair. what a lucky kid.

*on a different note, he cried more today after his shots than the girls ever did. which just backs up my theory that all men, when injured, are big fat babies : )

8 weeks

2011-08-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

i almost didn't post this photo because of all the negative things i see about myself. but then i pulled my thoughts out of the shallow end of the pool and said, " look at that perfect baby!" it would be a crime to let my pride get in the way of enjoying this photo. this baby is beautiful, and perfect, and calm and amazing. when i hold him i feel like all is well in the world. and i can see him soften everyone that he meets.

i'm falling more and more in love every day.

i've been working on the exact metaphor to describe his soft and squishy cheeks that i can't stop kissing. right now all i can think of is:

fluffy clouds of marshmallow cream.

yes, they are that delicious.

rodney's got a rockin' gene pool

2011-08-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

four generations of Leavitt men

Great Grandpa Ron, Tyson, Rodney, Grandpa Rod

pretty good looking lot of men don't you think?
(i always joked that i wanted to marry tyson because i knew he would still be hot when we were older. shallow? yes. true? double yes.)

shake it shake it

2011-08-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

phoebe found her

reflection in the tv during her one of her dance sessions.

i don't know where she learned some of the moves.

maybe ty's been teaching her?
check out her air guitar at 23seconds.

a blessing

2011-08-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

yesterday was the fourth time i have sat and watched my husband give our child a name and a blessing in our church. this is the first ordinance of our religion before baptism at 8 years of age.

it is a special day for us. which also means, it is a stressful day.

i really tried to stay relaxed and just enjoy all of our family and friends. but i find myself, like every other woman, wanting everything to be perfect. the kids, the clothes, their hair, family, everything. which just turns me into a mess.

luckily, ty doesn't get phased out and stressed like me, and he calmly blessed our son with obedience and faith. what more could i ask for?

we had a wonderful day full of family, friends, and food. a perfectly mormon sunday.

baby rodney's blessing outfit that ty wore on his blessing day

our new family of 6

7 weeks

2011-08-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

abby took the picture of rodney's new place of residence: the crib in the office.

i am more than a little sad that we had to evict him from our bedroom so soon, but the grunts! the wiggling! he's the loudest sleeper we've ever had.

and when daddy has to wake up at 4am to go and operate heavy equipment, well lets just say we're putting safety first.

seen and heard

2011-08-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

"so, how many weeks old is he now?" - ty
"um, 6 weeks now"- me
"annie, he's six weeks old already?"
"um...maybe." and then i ran away and hid in the girls' room.
(only a mom would know why this is funny)

"BABY WOWIE!!!!!" phoebe upon seeing rodney being held by our neighbor

"baby wowie wying!" baby rodney is crying. -phoebe

"nobody loves me!" - abby who is currently suffering from middle child syndrome.

on sunday tyson was trying to dress phoebe in tights, while the older girls bounced around trying to tell him something at the same time and then rodney started to cry. he stood up and exclaimed, "where did all these kids come from?!!!"

last sunday at my parents house i picked up their readers digest to see the breinholts in there! so cool.

"he (rodney) sounds like a squeaker toy"- lucy

eat cake

2011-07-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

i've been wanting to post my favorite cake recipes for a long time now. for the past 2 years i have only been making our cakes from scratch. yes, scratch! and i know you just cringed a little and thought crazy woman!. i had several reasons to do this, 1. scratch cakes give me satisfaction. it's like, dude, look what i just did! and 2. they taste so much better and 3. have you read what's in box mixes? i'm just sayin.

i've made several different kinds, but our family loves these two and i've never looked back. a white cake, and a chocolate cake. so when it's your birthday, you get to pick. nothing fancy, just white or chocolate. chocolate or white. i mean, i just had 4 kids in 6 years. why would i need more than two options? and ohhhhhh they are delicious. so without further ado, the recipes. (and the white cake is the easiest cake i've ever made)

The BEST White Cake
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 c sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/3 cup buttermilk (please, please, spend the money and buy buttermilk, it's so worth it! if not, add 1tablespoon vinegar to 1 1/3 c milk and let sit for a few minutes)
1/2 c butter or shortening ( i use butter)
1 tsp vanilla
4 egg whites

1. In a bowl combine flour, sugar, baking powder, soda and 1/8 tsp salt.

2. Add buttermilk, butter and vanilla. Beat on low speed for 30 seconds, scraping bowl. Beat on medium to high speed for 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Add egg whites and beat for 2 min more, scraping Bowl.

3. pour into 2 greased 9" pans. Bake in a 350* oven for 30-35 min (check at 28) or until toothpick from the center comes out clean. Cool on wire racks for 10 minutes. Loosen sides and remove from pans. Cool thoroughly on wire racks. Serves 12.

*my frosting i use for this is the wilton's butter cream recipe on their website.

Perfectly Chocolate Cake (that i stole from the hershey's box) : )
2 c sugar
1 3/4c all-purpose flour
3/4 c cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 c milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil ( i use olive oil)
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 c boiling water (i usually boil this in a pyrex measuring cup in the microwave while i'm beating for 2 minutes as per directions)

1. heat oven to 350*. Grease and flour two 9inch round pans.
2. combine dry ingredients in a large bowl. add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed 2 min. Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour into pans.
3. Bake 30-35 min (i check at 28...i like to undercook my cakes a little) or until toothpick comes out clean from the center. Cool 10 minutes. Remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely (at least an hour). Frost.
*cupcakes bake for 22-25 minutes (check at 18)

Perfectly Chocolate Frosting (i double this for a two layer cake)
1 stick butter
2/3 c cocoa
3 c powdered sugar
1/3 c milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1. Melt butter on medium. Stir in cocoa ( i use a whisk). Alternately add powdered sugar and milk. beating on medium speed to spreading consistency. Add more milk if needed. Stir in vanilla.

to make a good cake i must recommend a few tricks i've learned:
1. let your eggs AND butter reach room temperature before mixing. this makes the cake more fluffy and light. if you are trying to defrost butter and you melt it because you forgot to put the butter out, don't use it. start again with another stick. then again, don't make a cake cause i bet your eggs are cold too. please don't microwave those to warm them up.
2. follow the directions. i know right? seriously, if it says mix slowly. mix.it.slowly. if it says mix for 2 minutes on medium speed. don't do it for a minute on high speed thinking you are saving time. do what the words on the paper say! (i've learned this the hard way) over mixing a cake makes it yucky. trust me.
3. use the right measuring tools. all liquid measurements should be made in a glass pyrex measuring cup. all dry ingredients in regular measuring cups. and make sure you spoon the flour into the cups, not pack it in.
3. make sure you grease the pan really really well! use a napkin in butter or crisco and wipe all the sides and bottom. then use a spoonful of flour and sift it all over till it's covered. you'll see the spots that aren't greased, grease them, and then cover with flour. turn the pan over and dump out remaining flour. bake as directed. let it cool for 10 min on a wire rack while still in the pan, release it, and let cool for at least an hour before cutting and layering.

the best white cake

6 weeks

2011-07-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

6 weeks is always bitter sweet for me. It's fun because they are finally waking up and becoming a person. Smiling, cooing, watching! But hard because they start to become a person, which means, they have an opinion about stuff! The nerve. He's going through a crazy growth spurt and wanting chestage all hours of the day and night .

I find it's getting harder to burp little Rodney, and I have to perform acrobatics to get them out of him at night. And oh! How important burping your baby is, burping and swaddling are the mainstays of my sanity. If I were to give advice to a new mom it would be always get that burp out. There is nothing worse than spending all that time nursing and swaddling and rocking, just to lay down for 10 minutes and hear that uncomfortable grunting and wriggling. That is so frustrating...it happened again last night. In my defense, at 2am it's hard to remember if you got a burp out or not and if the diaper was poopy or not. I just go through the motions. Oh well, he's happy this morning : )

*ty dropped the camera on saturday, and now all the photos are blurry. fun!

it's all worth it though

2011-07-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

in light of my negative post below...i have to add that all of the not so lovely things about having a baby, are far, far, far outweighed by the extroadinary, amazing, make your life totally awesome things. and there are so many of them. like the way the baby breathes on my chest sleeping early in the morning. or the way the girls coo and talk to him. or the way phoebe walks by and pushes his swing so hard it looks like he's going to fly out (oh woops- good things, good things).

i mean, we just brought another perfect little person into this family. and if he's anything like his sisters, there are many more good times to be had.

i thought this is what better looked like

2011-07-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

this week found my husband at scout camp...again. luckily my sister sarah was in town and stayed for 2 days and 2 nights with our little family. we spent the majority of the time laughing and talking and taking care of kids. she was constantly in awe of rodney's full grown man farts and i kept asking her kid advice (she's taught 1st grade for 7 years now).

after about 12 hours though of full on time with me, she asked, "so...um...how are you doing?" i responded with the cheery, "good! so much better!". to this she squinched up her face and said, "really?" and that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks, yes i am doing so very much better than 4 weeks ago. but to my sister, who knows my ups and downs and in and outs, i'm not doing so hot.

and my pride gets the best of me when i write this. i should be fine! i should be happy! i should baking and cooking and sewing skirts for the girls and writing thoughtful thank you notes with my spare time! i feel so ungrateful writing down that it's "hard" to have 4 kids. i can't even count on my hands all the loved ones we know who would kill to be expecting or have even one child. and here i am...complaining. but you know what? it is hard right now. and that's that. there's no amount of changing anything that i can deny that this post partum period is hard for me this time around. after phoebe was a walk in the park! i felt great! 3 kids was easy!

today my sister danna called, "so, how are you doing?!" and i answered, "i'm great! well...(long pause) as long as nothing goes wrong, i'm great". so basically, i'm not great. because who has perfect kids and a clean house and it all together?

when i read other blogs, i feel like she has it together, and her, and her, and her.

but not me. nope. no togetherness going on over here. i'm one not-hot mess right now. because it's hard to get used to a new life. yes, a new life. my old life? goodbye! see ya later! i have to rewrite how i do everything now. when i wake up in the morning, remembering to brush my teeth to what and when i can eat breakfast. when to exercise. when to talk to friends. when to watch a movie with husband. what clothes i can wear. what clothes look good on my new body (read: absolutely ginormous chest and bread dough tummy). how to take care of each of my kids. it's all different.

and the crappy part is i'm so tired i can't even begin to figure it all out. i mean, i even sent in rodney's birth announcement to our local paper and wrote the date, weight and length wrong. i wrote the wrong birth date for crying out loud! holy sleep deprivation...how it kills me.

and this is where my mom's wisdom comes in: 12 WEEKS. after every baby she says, "give yourself 12 weeks...at least". 12 weeks to feel almost, maybe close to normal. 12 weeks to feel a little sane. 12 weeks to have at least one clean countertop in the house. 12 weeks before not hiding from the kids in the bathroom with a book (a classic move i learned from mi madre). and i have to listen to this advice, and not what the media tells me. i'm going to ignore that 12 weeks is 3 months! and it's ok to not have it together for 3 months. no, i don't have to be runway model ready in 8 weeks (pshaw!) or hosting dinner parties at our house or traveling on a summer vacation. (summer vacation! what a novelty!).

nope, none of that. i am stuck here at 6 weeks, hoping, praying, praying! that in 6 weeks the bags under my eyes will be packed for a wee bit smaller vacation and that i'll be able to put together an outfit that doesn't look like i got dressed in the dark, in a dress barn, in 1994. don't even get me started on my hair. it's got to get better right?

one can only hope.

baby wodney

2011-07-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

he loves to look out the window in the morning

how can you not love those chubby chubby cheekies?

on a sunday evening drive

2011-07-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

we have had a busy busy week/weekend of visiting with friends and family, overnighters with the Warburtons, scout camp for ty and a birthday dinner for joshlyn! sunday afternoon ty and i were pooped out- but still wanted to spend some quality time with the ~~girls~~ kids (i'm not used to Roddie being a girl!). so we strapped them in their carseats & went for a nice family drive by our house. yes, just 20 minutes from our house we were graced with all of these awesome views.
it was nice to remember how beautiful it is around here,
i just had to step out of the house!

and yes, this last photo are two big horn rams fighting over a nice lady ewe. we watched them do this for a good 15-20 minutes. which was amazing, as all the times i have hiked with ty looking at these sheep i've never witnessed them fight. and here they just kept going and going. at one point there were 3 rams following one ewe. i asked ty, "there are a ton of other girls around, why are they fighting over just that one?" and ty answered, "maybe she's the best looking one". hahaha. i'm thinking it's just like college and she's the brand new 18 year old sophomore that just moved into the building : )

* i have to add that not one of these were edited

baby boy

2011-07-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

guess who gave me the sweetest little smile first thing this morning?

it sure makes waking up with spit up and poop all over me worth it.

*check out his gorilla sized hands. crazy huh?

a little dose of catch up

2011-07-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

i was going to write about all the things we've been up to. but i'm going to spend time with the kids instead.
*the girls are asleep now; so i can write about all the great things that have been happening. i have to keep up with the theme of the blog right? cheerful cheerful cheerful! i won't tell you how sometimes after i have babies things are really hard and trying before they get a little easier. so here are some cheerful things:

baby showers! i was so graciously given 2 of the most fun showers! that's a first for me. the first was from my two leavitt sister in laws- and it had the best lemonade ever. the second was given by my ward friends. we stayed up talking till 10:30! it was so wonderful all the outfits and diapers and much needed things we were given. thank you thank you thank you!
the girls are doing excellent with their swim lessons. a very big change from last year. we were starting to get worried that we would end up like their dad. ty just has never enjoyed swimming. whereas i was a fish growing up adn still love it. lifeguarding was my first job out of high school.
ty is knocking down our to-do list every day. i can't imagine what it's like to have all that responsibility. the hard part about being a mr. fix it is that you are the one who has to fix ALL of it! and our house and property and cars need lots of fixin'.
baby wodney! oh, he is a love. he gets chubbier and chubbier by the millisecond and i love it. plus, he hasn't peed on me in a week. score!
my family. i know that i can call my sisters and sister in-laws and they will pick up the phone and listen to me cry and whine about all my insignificant problems that seem gigantic. i also am given so much love and caring from ty's family who treat me as their own. and i'm very appreciative of that. they love my kids to death and it makes all the difference in the world to them.

here's a picture of baby rodney and me on his first day at church.

socks and shoes were optional.

* i found out why this picture came out so blurry. peanut butter on the lense. does it every time.

the birth story-el quatro

2011-07-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

now, i could make this short and sweet and say that i delivered my fourth baby without any pain medication and it was an amazingly blissful experience.

or i could tell you the truth. and if you know me by now, you have already got a pillow to sit on and some popcorn to get through this story.

so friday contractions started again. no biggie. same old same old. we had just gone to the hospital 4 days earlier for a dry run. you know, just to make sure we knew how to get there and all. but friday morning i woke up excited to clean the house. that was the first sign. we had a fun morning at the splash pad and then i spent the entire day happily (there's the clue again) scrubbing the sinks and mopping and cleaning cleaning cleaning. at 2pm the squeezies started getting more longer and stronger than any other ones. by around 5:30pm i was one giant contraction and started making dinner. was i in pain? nope, not really. but that has been the case with early labor for all of my kids. sit back, relax, have a good time! by 9pm we were in the car heading to the hospital. i knew i was in labor and didn't want to wait too long because when you live 80 minutes away from where you give birth... well, it's a tough decision.

by the time we actually did reach the hospital it was 11pm (mst), the contractions were 4 minutes apart and i was at 5cm. ugh! all that work and only a 5. i was bummed when they told me that because i automatically felt that we came in too early. and at a hospital, time literally is money. the fun part of arriving when we did though is we had our nurse from our dry run on monday. she knew all about us and even remembered that my mom was out of town already. it was nice having a familiar face there.

so, blah blah blah an hour later i was a 6 and truly in "labor". but i tend to hang around the magical number 6 for awhile. after an hour and a half of walking the halls i had a lot of pressure, you know, down there, and we did the obligatory check. there was no change but my bag of waters was bulging (isn't that the coolest thing you've ever read on here?). we were hoping to just break 'em and ride the baby out, but his (it still feels so weird to write that) head was at a funky angle that put my at risk for a prolapsed cord. they convinced me to go on the lowest dose of pitocin to get the head in the right position. i think as soon as i heard pitocin i should have opted for the epidural.

this is where time stop existing for me. i focused on staying relaxed and calm through the contractions. i hated that i was stuck in the bed now, and should have stood up next to it, but honestly i was so tired at this point i just collapsed there. ty held my hand and helped encourage me in between each one. i was handling them quite well at this point. at 4am they told me that my dr. was coming in shortly and we'd decide what to do after that, i was still a 6 at this point but the head was exactly where it needed to be. success! i think my doc arrived around 4:20 or 4:30ish? it's all a blur. i wasn't really up for chit chat at this point if you know what i mean. he broke my water and pronounced that the baby was close, but i was still a 6. immediately i started shaking and knew transition had started. this is where i remind myself that transition from a 6 to delivery has lasted only 10-15 minutes with my last 2 deliveries. i should also note that this was always an easy experience with an epidural. this time...well, not so easy.

there are women who feel "empowered" by birth and love letting it takes it's course. yes, the pain is natural and we are supposed to feel it so you're willing to push an entire human being out of your body. but c'mon, it was not empowering one little bit for me. i don't know if it's because of the pitocin so it wasn't "natural" contractions at this point or i'm just not cut out for it, but it wasn't kosher at all in my book.

you guys, i was a big fat wimpy wimp. oh! it was awful. you know those birth videos where the mom is screaming bloody murder and the dad has a scared "deerintheheadlights" look and it's absolute craziness? welcome to my delivery my friends. ok, so i didn't scream but still!

without my nice comfy amniotic fluid surrounding baby- the contractions sucked. i was writhing around in the bed like an injured animal. whining, moaning, gripping ty's hand like a ninja. my dr. came in to check me what seemed like ages later and i was an 8. close, but no cigar. at this point my eyes were always shut but my dr. noticing that i was not handling the pain like a champ asked, "do you want an epidural?" and i opened my eyes and said "yes!" he looked me straight into my eyes and said, "ok annie, we can call him up and wait for him and get one, or...we can just get this over with right now." now i ask you, what kind of an ob convinces you to NOT get pain relief?

it was a pretty convincing argument to me as i just wanted all of it to stop. immediately. so he let me start pushing that instant (i was still only 8cm). bless him bless him bless him. so for somewhere between 10-15 minutes i just pushed like a mad woman. there was no stopping me, and i can tell you this, it felt like an eternity. an extremely painful eternity. i just kept pushing and pushing and throwing little tantrums in between the contractions. i remember hearing a few things in between my crazy tyrannousaurus rex moans. i could hear the babies heartbeat on the monitor and 3 voices: ty's, my doctors and my nurse. they kept telling my i was doing it! i was doing so well! but i didn't believe them one second. because i knew the entire maternity ward thought that someone was sacrificing a live animal in there. it really was the most primal sounds i have ever heard (and i was the one making them!).
the only time i got really upset, but luckily didn't say anything is when ty and the nurse said "look down annie! you can see the head" and i was so mad that they wanted me to 1. open my eyes and 2. move my head. both tasks seemed almost impossible. i tried but couldn't do it. i did yell once, and it was the most embarrassing/hilarious thing i have ever yelled. which is pretty good considering my verbal history. and then my dr. said something really funny in reply. if you want to know what it is you'll have to ask my in person. ty has not given me permission to put it in writing. i still can't believe i yelled it. hilarious in hindsight. completely embarrassing in the moment.

at 5:01 i pushed out what felt like the largest pair of shoulders in the world. they placed this baby on my chest and ty told me it was a boy. a boy! i didn't believe him, but i looked at his little face and fell in love. looking back at me was this little brown hairy face with a big man schnoz. it was beautiful.

the pain was completely gone, but i was exhausted. exhuasted. exhausted.

the recovery you ask? an absolute dream! like a giant ice cream sundae with hot fudge, whipped cream and nuts all over it. delicious. the recovery alone would sell me to do it natural again. that and the fact that Rodney was so alert from birth. i held him the first hour and 10 minutes of his life and it was perfect. perfect. perfect.

later i apologized 800 times to all the nurses and my doctor for breaking their ear drums. i know i shouldn't have felt embarrassed, but it is what it is. i was completely embarrassed for how i acted. they kept telling me i did great, and i quote "you did awesome! you didn't even swear!" swear? how could i have the time to think up awesome swear words? i definitely didn't do that. but obviously i'm not one of those yogis in the water bath chanting enya with lit candles in the background. i think they should have recorded my delivery for abstinence courses in school. it was that bad.

so there it is. i delivered a baby without pain meds and found out that i am, a complete and total crazy woman.

and ty never wants to experience it ever again.

and i'm just happy that i could go to the bathroom as soon as i wanted! and i did!

abigails birth story can be found here.
and phoebe's is here.

i gave birth to a piranha

2011-07-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

in case you were wondering.

we are alive.

we are all healthy.

we are not leaving the house for another 8 weeks.

because baby here thinks eating every hour on the hour is essential. on friday he tipped the scales at 9lbs 12oz. his 0-3 month clothes are getting tight. i'm so happy to have him big and healthy, and sad at the same time.

and i think i've flashed 8 people this week.

and i mispelled piranha. pirranha? oh well.

here are some pictures from father's day at Grandma Leavitt's home.

8 days old baby wodney

abby and uncle taylor

proof that i still exist

the fearsome five- lyla phoebe lucy abigail evelyn

my man

2011-06-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

 the repairman for my beloved dryer was scheduled to come tomorrow. yesterday i came home from swim lessons with the girls to find tyson "fiddling" with it.  i almost, almost, almost asked him to stop touching my dryer. i'm thankful that ty is a handyman, but my washer and dryer are no touchy touchies for the kids and him. automatic time out my friends.

and just as i opened my mouth to ask him to stop he said, "i think i fixed it." what? what? holy guacamole i hope you are right. so, i took a deep breath. pushed the start button and stepped back.

guess what? he fixed it.

he also fixed the whole $350 dollar ebay mess up too.

and he's fixing my a/c tonight.

i need to make him chocolate chip cookies or something to say thanks. but i know i'd just end up eating them tonight in my marathon nursing session.

it was the best week...it was the worst week

2011-06-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

i feel like i can almost take a breath of air for a few minutes here. every day things have been getting better and better, with some sprinkles of hard times in between.

the highlights of the week were
1. having my sister danna here to help ALL WEEK LONG! yes, every morning she arrived bright and early to take care of me and phoebe and abby and lucy and the baby. we laughed and played and had serious talks and pow wowed over the girls' different needs right now and how to take care of them. we cleaned together and watched BBC dramas together and had a grand time. she made sure i got at least one nap every day. heaven help me, a nap every day! it helped me to not kill the other children.

2. baby rodney. he is still a sweet little peaceful soul and his peter is all healed up. yay! and thank goodness, is starting to go a litttttle bit longer in between night feedings. bless his little heart-i love him but sleep deprivition is my kryptonite.

3. the girls are settling down. a littttttle bit at a time. the tv and computer are on 24/7 along with our air conditioning. we are all inside the house like it's a blizzard out.

the low points of the week:
1. the car a/c died

2. my bestest, most favorite, most expensivethingi'veeverpurchased dryer died. blah.

3. one of our children who will not be named snuck onto the computer while ebay was on and purchased a $350 dollar cabbage patch doll. yes, that was not $3.50, but three HUNDRED and fifty dollars. ahhh!

4. ty's work truck a/c died. (he fixed it)

5. and then ty's work truck died. (then he fixed that)

6. our home phone is on the fritz too. (why not right?)

6. the girls broke my favorite hair brush. not that i've been using it lately, but someday i was going to blow dry it again right?

7. we received the hospital bills yesterday. really? can't they just wait another week or so?

7. i've tried to write the birth story a million times, and just don't know how to do it. here's a sneak peak: i had my first baby without an epidural. and i guess i'm still trying to figure out how i feel about the entire experience, plus it was pretty blurry for about a half hour or so...you know...near the end : )

but here is a picture of our week:

two week old baby rod

this is how i look 21 hours of the day that i'm awake

this is usually how much fun the girls had with auntie danna

oh, we miss her already

our hands are full

2011-06-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

and we love it

seen and heard

2011-06-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

me: well, i've got good news and bad news.

tyson: oh, go for it.

me: the good news is is that baby rodney lost his umbilical cord.

tyson: uh huh

me: the bad news is, is that i can't find it.

tyson: what?

me: well, it was gone this morning, so it fell off during a diaper change in the middle of the night.

tyson: gross.

*we found it this morning

all the girl cousins were prancing around the room in new matching dresses.

me: oh, watching them all makes me kind of sad Rodney isn't a girl.

tyson: not me!

*it was really funny at the moment, i guess you had to be there.

the blue period

2011-06-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

i hesitate to write this down. because in a few minutes i could be sad again and this wouldn't be fun to read later on.

i've heard from friends and family how they get the blues after a baby. weepy, emotional, sad. i've never had that and wondered why on earth you could feel sad after having a baby? yes, i'm quite cavalier in my judgemental thoughts.

and here i am. happy, oh so happy to have a baby! and then wham, i get sideswiped with sadness. why is the baby awake again? why aren't the girls listening? how can i ever take care of 4 kids? the best ones are when i feel betrayed. i blame all my friends x, y, z for making it looks so easy with large broods. the worst thought i've had since bringing home baby rodney? what if this is as good as it will ever be with 4? ahhh! talk about panic attack.

don't get me wrong things haven't been terrible. they've been actually quite wonderful. 70% of the time the girls are sweet with rodney and give him loves and then ignore him for the rest of the day. it's perfect! and then there is the remaining 30% where lucy is crying over the bumps in her hair and abby is still in her pj's spraying hairspray on the walls and phoebe is decorating my pottery barn european shams with mascara while rodney is screaming because he has pooped again and is hungry again.

it's hard to really relate how i feel, because i'm starting to feel sad again just writing this stuff down. i think a list will help.

hear the things i will block out of my memory:

how crazy phoebe was the day we came home and it made me want to go back to the hospital. (note picture above)
how we were sent home with strict instructions to not remove his gauze from his peter for an hour. and then he pooped 10 minutes later in the car. so i had to change the diaper and the gauzecameoff! and he was screaming, and i was crying and i couldn't find the diaper or the vaseline and there was blood everywhere! it was more than awful.
how difficult it is to change a boy's diaper. DIFFICULT.
how just when you think you are doing a good job as a parent, you are sent a baby that will make you feel like you have no clue what you are doing all over again.
how you gave birth to a piranha and only get bursts of sleep 45 minutes at a time ALL NIGHT LONG.
the bad morning where ty went back to work and the entire world fell apart.
hearing abby talk to her shoes and say, "my mommy is grumpy today"
hearing lucy cry in her room and say, "you're scaring me mommy!"

but here are some things in the last 6 days that i want to remember:

me and baby rodney, finding out we were going home!

how wonderful ty was during the delivery.
all the great baseball we got to watch together. alone. well, maybe baby counts?
phoebe asking to hold the baby and beaming for the .04 seconds she held him
lucy and abby telling me how they found baby rodney's binky while i was in the shower and got him to stop crying (it was phoebe's binky, but hey, it worked). they were so proud.
ty talking to the baby when he holds him.
all the smiling faces of the wonderful family and friends who have visited us.
all the wonderful meals and gifts.
all the amazing hours of play dates friends and families have done for the girls.
how baby rodney holds my finger and shirt while he nurses. he has the cutest little worried furrow. i guess eating takes lots of concentration.
how we had a baby and left the hospital the next day with the baby. what a blessing.
the nurse from Overton and Carolyn my delivery nurse.
all the sweet texts and emails i've received.
how little he cried during his circumcision. (ouch!)