oh, the heat. it's not the first time i've lamented about it, but this summer feels especially toasty. i'm not complaining too much, we are extremely spoiled to be able to swim at my parents' pool. i don't know if it is because i grew up with a pool, or because heat makes me insufferably cranky and tired, but i couldn't live here without a pool. honestly, it's salvation in a blessed rectangle.
this summer has been the summer of purposefully choosing to try harder every day. try harder at growing spiritually, mentally and physically. that's no small task in case you were wondering. it's really easy for me to physically work on myself, i enjoy exercising and learning new ways to eat better. spiritually, i've always been a stubborn mule on that one. i'll do good and then be obstinate about consistency. blah. mentally is the same, i will read a cluster of good books and then have a dry spell of nothingness but watching mindless drivel not the tv with ty.
all the kids are working on their library reading project and learning how to dive/swim better. we have a few friends over once a week (i can't really handle anymore than that) and take trips to get frozen yogurt and groceries. we also have spent a TON of time zoning out on tv and the iPad. i spend all.day.long with the kids EVERY day.
nap time/quiet time is my small 2hr block of time to unwind and plan the rest of the day, but i can't tell you how much i have to pray every day to be able to stay calm with the kids after 6pm. and most of the time it doest help (ack).
working on my own weaknesses and strengths is a challenge in and of itself. as long as i keep trying more than giving up, i believe i'm still heading in the right direction. at least i hope! a lot of the times in my effort to be better, i will take notes of other women or mothers that i know that i perceive as doing a "good job", and i try to imitate or recreate their routine or actions. even just typing this i see the mistakes in that method, but it is what it is. many good routines and things have come into our family because of my attention to positive aspects of other family's lives. but another thing can happen, and that is forcing things that aren't meant for me or my family because they look "good". it's a fine line between trying to be better by following your own desires instead of Heavenly Father's.
one thing i want for my children is a strong mind, body and character. i want them to know who they are and their purpose here on earth. they are all so unique with their qualities and weaknesses. i don't think i'm alone in the feeling that it is such a challenge being a mother.