Last night as I harped at the kids to get their shoes on and (please) clean up , Ty handed me some old photos from his mom. I almost stopped in my tracks. "Oh, wow." I blurted. These are old photos, photos I have never seen before. Photos I don't remember taking. Do you have those too? Photos you don't remember taking or being there? That doesn't happen to me often, so I was more than surprised to see these.
I was a baby. My oldest was a baby. Ty was young, young young. We were happy, and young, and delirious, and... living in lala land.
Sometimes, and very rarely, I see new moms and I covet. The crisp, fresh baby clothes. The non-stained burp cloths and blankets. The energy they have! The dreams! The motivation! The hair bows and clips and planned "outfits". The clean strollers and organized diaper clothes. Who am I kidding? I was never like that, but I still covet that lifestyle sometimes.
|Ty, baby Lucy, Me 2005|
I do covet that simple life though, I think our internet was so slow we only went on at night or on the weekends. Photos were still developed, no texting, it was a more quiet time. But inside I wasn't quiet, I feel like I am much more relaxed and easy going than then. I know, you're thinking that would be impossible because I'm still extremely high strung, but believe me. Those were the days when I would cry and pout when I wasn't getting my way. ha! What a joke.
I don't have a lot of regrets (other than yelling) about being a mom, but it's a process. That poor oldest child. She has been more than patient with my mistakes and mishaps.
When I see these pictures, I don't even know what to say. It honestly feels like an entire lifetime ago.
|Baby Lucy and Me, 2005|